


I'm Gonna Love and Give It a Name

by winglesswarrior



Series: Fate Finds a Way [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Dad!Liam, Future Fic, Kid Fic, M/M, Parenthood, Single Parent AU, Teacher Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-15
Updated: 2014-11-23
Packaged: 2018-02-25 12:25:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 35,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2621609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winglesswarrior/pseuds/winglesswarrior
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam thinks he might be okay with being a single dad, but he hasn't had to deal with primary school yet. Which means snack day, pick ups and drop offs, field trips, a couple of too friendly single moms and an all too bright and full of life year 1 teacher with bright red pants. </p><p>or</p><p>The one where Louis is a primary school teacher for five year olds and Liam Payne might be doomed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This idea was born from an OT5 ficlet where Liam was the teacher, but it just didn't make sense when Louis seems to fit so well. It was supposed to be short. I was so wrong. 
> 
> Obviously, this is purely fiction and I have no claim over the people represented. Just for fun right? 
> 
> Any errors are mine, but love goes out to itemfinder, driftingdoll and usagiko for their beta work/ support / etc. Also if I mucked up English school system stuff...I'm sorry. 
> 
> The title is from "Make Me So" by Yellowcard - if you aren't listening to their stuff you should be. <3

“Daddy!” It was shrieked from downstairs as Liam gave up on there ever being a chance of his hair being anything more than a mess. Instead, he settled for trying to be pleased he at least had a shirt and one sock on, the other he was hopping into as he hurried down the stairs of the little town home. “We’re going to be late on the first day!” 

“Yes, yes, love, I hear you. Please do not shriek like a banshee,” he begged his five-year-old, stumbling a little as he got his sock on, then grabbed his boots by the door. “Do you have your bag? And your jacket?” 

“Your hair’s a mess.” Liam looked at his daughter who was staring at him pointedly and he wondered how on earth she was his child. 

“I’m aware. But we’re late, remember? Bag. Jacket. Let’s go, princess.” 

Harriet rolled her eyes at him, which was definitely _not_ something he’d taught his daughter, and he hated her mother again, but only briefly. It wasn’t right to hate her, even if they’d grown apart, as it said in the divorce papers. Liam used to think he had done the right thing in trying to be a gentleman and a good guy by marrying the girlfriend he got pregnant, dropping out of uni to support them, but apparently the nice little family that he’d always wanted (although later in life) wasn’t what she wanted and somehow he’d become the bad guy in everything.

Still, there were parts of Harriet that were clearly his, like the Batman shirt she’d insisted on wearing today, though it was with her pink skirt and boots. The soft mop of curls on her head matched the little bit of his hair that was trying to curl because it wasn’t fixed. Thankfully he’d moved on from the mop of them he’d had at eighteen. Looking back at pictures they weren’t nearly as adorable on him as they were on his daughter. He shoved his boots on and grabbed his wallet and keys off the table as Harriet finished getting ready, backpack on her back and jacket on. That was him too. Her mother had always been a bit of a mess, but Harriet was as put together as her father was, at least on a good day. “Ready!” she informed him and he led the way out of their little house to the car. 

The primary school was the same one he’d gone to ages ago, having opted to move back home when he was left a single father, not sure he could afford the flat in Manchester on one salary alone. Being forced to move back home had been depressing; Liam had always hoped that years away at uni would mean he’d make something of himself, but it was also familiar and his mother being around helped when Liam was at a complete loss for what to do with Harriet. It was embarrassing to admit he still relied on her, but it was the truth. He assumed he probably wasn’t the only one who’d called his mother in a panic because of a slightly high fever or a cough that didn’t sound right or just how to manage little girl tights. At least that was what he told himself when he had a sick feeling he was ruining his daughter more than helping her. 

It really was a shame her mum had stated her irreconcilable differences in writing and left the two of them alone. Harriet could probably use someone who wasn’t the cause of a list that took up four pages in bullet points. It was the sort of thing that had Liam wondering if he was just an awful sort of person to be around, at least until Harriet demanded he turn up the music playing and sing along for her, eyes wide and full of pride as she listened to him sing in the car on the way to her first day of primary school. 

Maybe he wasn’t bad at everything. 

The shocking thing about the school was how abnormally small it felt, tables and chairs only coming up to his knees which he distinctly remembered as being full-sized and less of a trip hazard. He led Harriet into her new classroom with all the other parents, helping her find the cubby with her name on it and letting her stash her bag and jacket while he looked around for the teacher. Not spotting anyone off hand who looked particularly teacher-like, mostly a set of moms who all looked teary and one bloke with swoopy hair and bright red trousers, there wasn’t anyone who seemed to be in charge. Liam tried not to be bothered by that and focused on Harriet instead, but his daughter lasted all of five seconds before she was bounding off to chatter with a friend of hers from the neighborhood leaving him feeling a little lost. What was he supposed to do now? Leave? No wonder the moms were teary; leaving sounded painful. He’d left her alone before, but now he wanted to go back to her, scoop her up and keep her close to him. He hadn’t spotted a teacher yet. He could still leave with her. 

“They do that,” a cheery voice said beside him and Liam started, turning to find the bloke with the red pants smiling at him. He was pretty up close. Older than he looked from a distance, just the lightest of laugh lines around his eyes, which crinkled more as he smiled. “It’s for the best really. The other option is crying and clinging to your leg which makes you feel worse.” 

“You have one then?” Liam said, struggling to find even those words and not sure why he went with them. 

“Little sisters actually and one little brother. Did the whole drop them off at year 1 for each one of ‘um. Each one was different, but there’s nothing wrong with it. She’ll be fine.” 

“I know she’ll be fine,” Liam insisted, voice terser than he would have liked it to be, but who was this guy? What did he know? It didn’t stop him from wincing at the sound of his own voice though, running his fingers through his hair, just to realize it was a mess. He probably looked like a mess. “Sorry. We’ve had a morning. Do you have one in the class then?” He looked a touch older than Liam, so likely he was of a proper age to have a five year old or maybe another much younger sibling, but the bloke in the pants just laughed.

“I’ve got seventeen.” Then red-trousers guy laughed again, something Liam found far too interesting for his own good, winked at Liam and clapped his hands, getting everyone’s attention. For a moment Liam panicked, terrified that something might happen that involved _him_ , but Trousers was moving away from Liam, towards the cushions set in a circle in the center of the room. 

“I think it’s time we get our day started, what do we think?” he asked, flashing his grin at Liam for just a moment before sitting on one of the cushions, tucking his feet under him. “So come on, help me wave bye to the parents and then we can do morning songs?” he asked the children who seemed drawn to him and his laugh like he was the Pied Piper, falling into spots on cushions, turning to wave farewell to their parents. Even the crying ones seemed willing to detach from parents’ legs and hands as Trousers started singing softly, some song that sounded like a nursery rhyme that Liam barely remembered. He had a lovely voice, though not in a traditional sense, just something different, which was probably why it drew him in as much as it did. Liam watched as his own daughter picked the cushion closest to those red pants smiling brightly up at her teacher (he was the teacher?) before waving at her father. 

Liam stood there, rooted in his spot, staring as wide-eyed as the students, not sure what he was seeing. _That_ was the teacher? He hardly looked like one with his hair all done and his pants the color of a fire engine. Weren’t primary school teachers mousy older ladies rather than stupidly fit men his age? Wasn’t his a mousy older lady? He didn’t realize he was staring until Trousers looked up and tilted his head, smile drooping just a little before he made a point of glancing around the room. Liam did the same and realized with a rush of heat to his cheeks he was the last parent left. Not even the crying mums had been able to stick around and yet there he was, staring at the teacher like he’d been paralyzed. Trousers just grinned more, eyes and nose crinkling up before he waved again and Liam hurried out of the room and into the hall, moving quickly so he caught up with the other parents and didn’t look like he’d been behind staring at the attractive man that was supposedly qualified to teach his daughter. 

“I just wasn’t expecting someone so young,” one of the mothers was saying as he caught up to the last few parents. She was at least five years older than Liam. 

“Or so handsome,” another mother added. 

“There’s that too. He seemed a little too pretty, right?” 

Liam wanted to agree with them, but the way they said made it sound like a bad thing. What did it matter if the teacher was handsome and young? Everyone had to start somewhere and usually handsome and young were compliments.. 

“Definitely too pretty. Maybe he’s one of those… Well, you know.” Liam could guess what they thought Trousers was from tone alone and he forced back a comment about that. On the list of things that really didn’t matter, that was high up there. Thankfully the mother kept talking and his chance for an outburst passed. “I was just expecting Mrs. Gordon, who I know had every right to retire, but my other kids had her and we’re used to her. These new teachers are always trying new methods. And he’s not even from around here.” 

The other mother nodded and glanced back at Liam almost surprised to see him there. “Oh, Liam. What did you think?” She knew his mother, he thought, probably from some women’s group, though the town was small and it wasn’t hard to miss the single dad that had moved home from Manchester. 

“He seems friendly enough. Said he has younger siblings,” he tried, not sure why he was standing up for the young teacher, but feeling the urge to do just that. “The kids like him.” 

The younger of the two mothers smiled at him and patted his arm, and Liam tried not to think of it as condescending. “At least yours didn’t cry this morning. You look like you’ve been having enough of a morning, right?” 

Liam was aware that he didn’t look his best, but he didn’t think he looked that bad. Apparently his shirt was more wrinkled than he thought. “I think it’ll be fine,” he added, smiling at both of them even if it didn’t go to his eyes. “What matters is that they like him and they learn something. The rest is just packaging. If you’ll excuse me, errands to run on my first morning off in a few months.” He didn’t really and was likely just going to go home and make tea and mope for a little bit before he cleaned house and waited for Harriet’s first day to be over. What he didn’t need was to be judged by the other mothers for his state and being so much younger than them. He was fine. 

Not to mention the thought of them calling Trousers ‘one of those’, which he guessed meant gay or something close to it, made the space between his shoulderblades itch with annoyance. He himself had very much liked it when one of his mates had kissed him after a heated football match, just as much as kissing any girl. Even if that was something Trousers might enjoy as well, it certainly had nothing to do with if Trousers would make a good teacher or not. 

He waved at the mothers as he left, hurrying back to his car and thinking he should get a proper shower in before he had to be back for afternoon pick up. 

\-----

After school pick up was better. He’d found a shirt that hadn’t come off the floor, something light grey and just fitted enough. He hadn’t actually picked it out, but after the divorce, Zayn had gone through his closet and made an executive decision that he needed new clothes. Something about being a hot dad on the market and, while Liam had no intention of dating, maybe he was taking advantage of the work Zayn had done. It was only to make a better impression than he had that morning and had absolutely nothing to do with the way Trousers had winked at him or smiled or any of that. 

Liam parked the car and headed towards the gathering of students waiting for their parents. Trousers’ group of five year olds was easy to spot, and not just because of the bright red pants, but more that way they stood in a circle with their teacher, still singing and swinging their arms back and forth. He headed that way, smiling when Harriet spotted him and cheered out loud. “Daddy!” 

He grinned at the sight of her, but even more so when Trousers’ eyes went a little wide. Once he was close enough Harriet detached herself from her classmates and leapt into his arms. He didn’t hesitate in lifting her up high, even though she was getting a touch too big for such things, leaning up to kiss her nose and make her giggle. “How was your first day, princess?” 

“The best day ever!” Harriet was bouncing in his arms, squirming to get loose even as he pressed another kiss to her nose and set her down. 

“Great!” He sounded as enthusiastic as she did, but how was her best day ever here and not with him? That wasn’t fair. Maybe he needed to up his game. He could ruin dinner with ice cream, couldn’t he? No, no that would make him a terrible father and he’d done enough already in running her mother off by just being himself. 

“Probably not the very best day,” a voice behind him said and he turned, surprised to see Trousers there, smirking still holding hands with his circle of students. “Very best days never happen at school. You look a little different from this morning,” he added after letting his eyes rake down Liam’s figure before looking up at Liam with a grin. 

“Little bit more time than this morning,” Liam admitted, running his hand over the back of his neck. No, he was not flushing, that was definitely not happening. 

“Ah, you can tell. Though the curls weren’t a bad look either,” Trousers added nodding towards Liam’s hair. There was a moment where something lingered in the air between them and Liam tried to determine if he was being flirted with or if this was just normal conversation. It had been five years since he’d been flirted with and even before that he had a girlfriend. Not to mention his friends were downright ridiculous in what their definition of normal conversation was, so he was pretty sure he had no good scale to measure what Trousers was saying. In addition, he wasn’t really sure he had a good come back for it. “Oh!” Trousers exclaimed, saving Liam from having to come up with some sort of response, and extracted himself from the circle. Once sure they were still holding each other’s hands, he dug a piece of paper out of his bright red pants. “Because you were having a morning, you got there too late to sign up for snack day. You have to pick a snack day,” he said sounded very serious despite the fact that his hair had fallen a little and was now hanging in his eyes, which were the most ridiculous shade of blue and seemed to be laughing. 

Liam didn’t mean to smile so big his face hurt, but it happened before he had a chance to bite the inside of his cheek and check it. “Right sure. I love snack day.” 

Harriett made a face. “You hate snack day.” 

“What? No. No Hattie, we don’t say hate. I never said that,” Liam said to Trousers who smirked more. And without any permission at all Liam’s mind took that somewhere else entirely, already putting that smirk in places where Trousers would be a completely inappropriate nickname. Because they’d be on the floor. He was going to hell. He was definitely going to hell for thinking that way about his daughter’s teacher. 

“You did. Last spring. We were late and you said loudly, I hate snack day.” Harriet was doing her best impression of her father’s voice, which really wasn’t that far off, and Liam gave her a little bit of a look which was thankfully enough to get her to shut up for the moment at least.

“I didn’t say that.” 

Trousers laughed, his eyes crinkling again, and Liam had that sense that he could spend forever making him make that face. _You don’t even know his name, Liam_. “Everyone says that. It’s tedious, but snacks are fun.” He bounced on his toes, the same way his students did and pointed to the page in Liam’s hand. “I signed you up for the open spots. Sorry about that, but here are your dates. I circled them for you.” He smiled again, something bright and fun and Liam felt like it was like the first sun of springtime. And apparently terrible mental metaphor inducing. 

Liam was smiling back again, not saying anything, and not even realizing he was doing it until Harriet was tugging at his sleeve. “Daddy. You’re staring.” 

“I’m not,” Liam insisted, shaking out of his little bit of shock and shifting away from Trousers. “I wasn’t,” he added for Harriet’s teacher, who just laughed again and went back to his little circle of students. 

“See you soon, Mr. Payne!” 

Liam raised a hand in a wave, but Trousers was already knee deep in five year olds, laughing at them and starting up the song again. That shouldn’t have been hot as well, but apparently it was. Liam needed to have a talking to with his brain when he got home and remind it that teachers and bright red pants were one hundred percent off the acceptable attraction list.

\----------

“I hate snack day!” Liam had gone to the store. He’d prepared. He’d made cookies based off his mom’s recipe and let them cool overnight. He’d bought oranges to slice up to balance out the unhealthy part of the snack. He was good being prepared. He was a scout. He had everything he needed and yet for some reason, nothing was going the way it should. He’d almost cut his hand open twice cutting oranges, he hadn’t managed to do anything more than grab a shirt off his floor again, his hair was falling in his eyes and nothing was ready to go. “Hattie! Where are you?” he demanded up the stairs, trying to make the cookies and fruit fit into the containers his mother swore they would fit into. “You’re late!” 

Harriet ran down the stairs and Liam could have cried at the sight of her. Her clothes didn’t even close to match, her hair was a mess, twisted up in whatever she thought was clips but really she looked more like the little girl from Wreck It Ralph or she’d gotten stuck in a confetti machine. Oh god, his first snack day and he looked like a complete wreck and his daughter looked worse. Mr. Tomlinson (which was apparently Trousers’ name) was going to hate him. Or laugh at him him. Liam wasn’t sure which was worse. 

“Daddy...I can’t find my shoes.” Liam was going to cry. He really was. He nodded, smashing the lid on the cookies and hearing them crunch, but very aware that there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it. It was year 1 snack day. It was supposed to be simple. He was doomed for the rest of primary school if this was too much. 

“Right, shoes. Honey, what did you do to your hair?” he asked, trying to tame her curls while looking under the table and then under the couch for her shoes at the same time.

“Daddy! You smashed the cookies!” 

“I know, honey. I know. Here,” he said crawling out from under the couch, trying to brush the dust off his shirt. He thought his house was tidy, but apparently he was completely off base. Of course the dust on his shirt and in his hair just added to the mess he already was. “I found your shoe, get your bag, we’re already late.” He grabbed at the cases of snacks, trying to pretend that the orange slices weren’t leaking a little even though he could already feel his hands getting sticky. 

By the time they’d made it to Harriet’s classroom, she was done with him in a way only a five year old girl could be, leaving his side the moment he was through the door with a huff. Her hair was still a mess, worse because he’d tried to fix it, her clothes didn’t match at all and while he was all for expressing personal fashion, he was pretty sure he just looked incapable. The oranges were still leaking, and now he was certain he smelled of citrus and he knew his shirt was sticky, same with his hands. The cookies were making that horrible rustling noise every time he shifted which meant they were seriously broken, and the moment Trousers, no, Mr. Tomlinson, approached, he wanted to sob just a tiny bit. He really was shit at this whole single parent thing. He used to be _good_ at things. He thought he would be good at taking care of Harriet, but, apparently, not as good as he thought. 

“Having another day?” Trousers asked, smile there, but his eyes glinted a little knowingly, maybe amused, maybe pity. Probably pity. 

Liam was sure he looked broken because the smile on the teacher’s face faded the moment he took his eyes off his daughter. “I’m terrible at this.” 

Trousers took the snack containers, eyeing them, then Liam’s hands, then made a move to set them somewhere out of the way before patting Liam on the shoulder. “How about we step out here for a moment, yeah?” he asked, hand on Liam’s elbow as he guided him out towards the hallway, snagging a box of baby wipes on the way. Liam didn’t even protest, stepping out of the room and slumping against the wall. Trousers’ smile was something sadder and Liam closed his eyes so he wouldn’t have to see it. “I can see why you hate snack day.” His tone was light and Liam found himself torn between being thrilled that Trousers remembered that or horrified that that was what he remembered. He hadn’t decided which when suddenly the other man was wiping his hands off for him with the baby wipes, just like he might one of his students. “Somehow you managed to get yourself all sticky.” 

Liam’s eyes flew open at that, watching Trousers before blushing slightly. “It’s not the first time?” he said, making a move to take the wipe out of the other man’s hand. He could clean himself up. 

Trousers raised an eyebrow at that before letting out something close to a giggle. “Alright fine. I set myself up for that.” It took Liam a moment to realize what he’d said that was so funny, but the moment he did his eyes went wide with his half meant, half not, innuendo. Of course Trousers just laughed more at that. He shook his head then regarded Liam before smiling again. “You’re not terrible at this.” Despite his smile, his tone was serious, as if he firmly believed it. 

Liam had to swallow past the lump that was suddenly in his throat and shook his head. “I think I might be. I think at this rate she’s going to need therapy by age eight.” 

“They all need therapy by age eight,” Trousers countered and smiled again. “You really are. You’re doing great. Everyone has days like this. Even the seasoned moms. That you’re trying, even on days like this, is a sign that you’re doing it right.” He smirked a little more then patted Liam’s arm. “You’re a great dad, Hattie’s a great girl, and snack will be wonderful.” 

Liam wasn’t sure what to say to that, but he did manage a weak smile, which seemed to be enough. 

 

“See? There you are. Already smiling again. You’re fine. Now go. We have a busy day and you probably do too.” Trousers’ smile stayed firmly in place and Liam felt his own smile coming a little easier. 

“I’ll call something in? Something that’s not smashed cookies and sticky oranges? Maybe I can have it sent over for this afternoon?” 

“Nope. We are fine. We’re going to be great. You’re going to be great. As soon as you get a clean shirt. Now, go on with you. Off. I swear, always lingering, Mr. Payne. You’re starting to make me think you want to be in the class and learn about finger paint.” Liam left the wall, laughing as Trousers shooed him down the hall. 

“Liam,” he corrected before he got too far. “My name. Liam. Seems only fair considering we could have been in uni together. Mr. Payne is my dad.” 

Trousers grinned that infectious grin that Liam wanted to write sonnets about, if of course he could remember what made a sonnet different from other poetry. “Louis then. Or Tommo, like the kids call me but without the Mr. But definitely Louis.” 

Definitely Louis. Liam felt himself smile again before he nodded and started down the hall, hands shoved in his pockets, eyes trained on the steps ahead of him so he didn’t turn back and stare longingly over his shoulder. 

When he arrived at school that afternoon to pick Harriet up, her hair was fixed, done in perfect little pigtails with her barrettes right where they should be and she couldn’t stop talking about cookie crumbles with a little bit of milk that had to be eaten with a spoon and oranges for a snack. Best snack day ever. When Liam glanced up at Louis the other man smiled and winked, holding his gaze for the briefest of moments before going back to talking to the other children. 

\----------

“So wait,” Niall asked, sitting down at the table with another round of beers, handing one out to Zayn then sliding the other in front of Liam. “Is Trousers the class bunny? I can’t follow this story for shit mate.” 

Liam groaned and set his head down on the table, not caring for the moment if it was a little sticky. _Not the first time_. Oh god, he was such a cad throwing _lines_ out there. Who did that? To an elementary school teacher! Zayn was laughing at him and his terribly unfollowable story, but at least he was reaching over to card his fingers through the hair at the base of Liam’s neck reassuringly. He loved his best friend so much. Letting out a sigh he sat up straight again and shook his head. “Trousers is him. The bunny’s...Waffles? Pancakes? Some breakfast food. I can’t remember which is worse because I almost killed it. I thought it was Bunnicula draining the vegetables dry then coming for the people next.” 

“I can’t believe you remember that book,” Zayn murmured. 

“I can’t believe you weren’t terrified of a vampire bunny enough as a child to not remember that book.” 

“The bunny from Monty Python is scarier,” Niall inserted and both Liam and Zayn had to agree with that. 

“Either way, I almost smashed it with a broom in the middle of the night and woke my daughter like some sort of madman, so that when we got to school with the bunny Monday morning, she _started_ the morning by telling Trousers that I almost killed the bunny. And he proceeded to laugh at me the same way you are.” Both of Liam’s friends had dissolved into giggles and Liam just rolled his eyes. 

“I am _terrible_ at this. I am. You two laugh, but you should see it. He fixes her hair, he makes my trainwreck of snack day the _best snack ever_ and he just smiles and winks like he’s made out of sunshine and perfection.” 

“I thought I was the bundle of sunshine!” Niall was using his best mock offended tone, which won him a playful cuff around the ear from Zayn before the brunette pulled the blonde into a mini headlock. Niall struggled, but eventually just settled against Zayn who kept his arm lazily slung over his shoulder. 

“It’s like I’m cheating at being a good dad because he’s helping and he doesn’t seem to be helping anyone else, so I have no idea why he’s helping me.” 

“You’ve got it bad don’t you?” Zayn concluded, resting his head against Niall’s, sipping at his beer. 

Liam thought he could say the same about his two friends from uni, but he didn’t mention it. “I need to not. He’s her teacher for god’s sake.” 

“But he’s fit, yeah?” Niall asked, also working his way through his beer, though faster than Zayn, his free hand idly playing with Zayn’s fingers on the hand that was draped over his shoulder. 

“Beyond fit. Gorgeous. The mothers hate him. And probably secretly love him.” 

“He’s got it bad,” Niall told Zayn seriously as if Liam weren’t sitting at the same table. He finished off his beer then looked at the others. “Another round, yeah?” he asked and Liam groaned. 

“I shouldn’t.” 

 

“Why not?” Niall demanded, already untangling himself from Zayn. “Your daughter is staying with her grandparents for the weekend and your best friends from uni are in town. And we walked here from your place because your hometown is tiny. There is no reason for you not to have four more beers and get real drunk instead of love drunk. I’m getting us more.” Niall jumped up from the table and headed for the bar. Zayn smiled softly at the Irishman until Liam nudged the toe of his boot against Zayn’s shin. 

Zayn looked over as if he knew the question that was coming, but didn’t stop Liam from asking it. “So, things seem to have progressed from the pining stage to the touching stage.” 

“They were at the touching stage a while ago.” 

Liam shook his head. “This is different touching. It implies there’s more than just this kind of touching going on when you’re alone. 

Zayn shrugged, somehow making it look completely nonchalant even if his eyes were saying something different. “It might be more of that. But he still...dates. Or tries to. I don’t know what it is.” 

“It’s serious.” 

“Not when he’s taking girls out to the cinema on Fridays just to sleep in with me all Saturday morning,” Zayn said with a sigh. “It’s not for him.” 

“He followed you to London.” 

“He did no such thing.” 

“Yes, he did. He had no plan, you knew that, I knew that. But you said you were going and less than a week later he was going too.” 

“Even if he did do that, he didn’t do it for the reasons you think.” 

“I don’t think he did it for the reasons you think. Of course you could always just ask him.” 

Zayn gave Liam a look. “I’m not asking him.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because he might say no.” 

“I highly doubt that.” 

“Who’s he talking to?” 

“You, I’d think,” Liam started, but the words fell short when he looked towards the bar. “No. No. No. No.” 

Louis didn’t look anything like he did at school, but it was clearly him. The nice button ups and dress clothes that Liam had gotten used to had been replaced by a t-shirt that all but hung off of him leaving his collarbones just there for the staring at, hinting at a tattoo across his chest. His hair was tucked up into a beanie except for a small part of his fringe, drooping down over his eyes. He even looked like he hadn’t bothered to shave since for a day or so and Liam was sure that he shouldn’t be staring, but he couldn’t _not_ stare. 

“That’s him, isn’t it?” Zayn asked, then let out a low whistle as Louis turned towards their table, smiling and waving at Liam. “Beyond fit is right. Well done. Though you might want to look less green, he’s headed this way.” 

“Liam! Look who I found!” Liam decidedly hated Niall in that moment, but he managed to plaster on a smile. 

“Trou… Louis. Fancy meeting you here,” he tried as Louis followed Niall up to the table, smile like sunshine radiating out of him. 

“Well, there’s only a couple of pubs in town and this one is less likely to have parents of my students at,” Louis said, taking the seat next to Liam as Niall waved him that way. 

“Except I’m here,” Liam pointed out dumbly, not sure what Louis meant by that if he was obviously here and obviously a parent of his student. 

“I realize that,” Louis said. “Less likely. And at least you’re not a decade older than me, wondering why I’m not some mousy older lady.” He smiled at Liam and Liam felt his face go pink again, looking at his beer instead of Louis. 

“Liam was just saying that you’ve been a big help with him being a single dad and all,” Zayn said conversationally and Liam could have sworn he put some emphasis on single. He shot his friend a look across the table, but Zayn ignored him. 

“Did he now? Well, I try not to pick favorites, but Hattie’s pretty wonderful and really, if being a big help is saving snack day, or fixing barrettes then it’s nothing at all. Though you have been banned from caring from any class pets. We took a vote.” Louis was smiling at Liam again and he couldn’t help but smile back, even if he was sure he was blushing again and his mind was currently blaming it on the alcohol and how warm it was in the pub and not that stupid bright smile that Liam was falling into. Or he was falling into until someone kicked him under the table and reminded him that should speak. 

“I wasn’t saying that much. I mean, yes, thank you. It does help. It’s not nothing, it’s everything and I could probably use a lot more help than I’m letting on,” Liam rambled, words tumbling out of him and he only barely stopped himself before he said something about loving Louis’ smile. 

Louis’ hand though had found it’s way to his forearm and the smile had softened and Liam was pretty sure he wasn’t remembering how to breathe. “You’re doing great. Trust me. I’ve seen worse.” He squeezed Liam’s arm then turned his focus to his friends across the table. “Niall said you two were from London? Up visiting Li here?” 

_Li_. Like they were friends. Liam was still staring at his arm, then at Louis, wondering if they were friends. He didn't’ really have _friends_ at home. There were old classmates, but he hadn’t known many of them well, and the only ones he’d spent time with had moved away from home, just like he was supposed to have. Could he be friends with Louis? Was there a rule against parent/teacher friendships? “I’m trying to convince Zayn to move here and be better godfather,” he blurted half cutting off whatever answer Zayn was giving. Thankfully his best friend just looked at him fondly though it was Niall that interjected. 

“Back up, I’m godfather. We went over this.” 

“Hattie doesn’t even have one,” Zayn said, rolling his eyes, and pinching Niall’s side. “Plus he’s asking me to move, not you.” 

“Well if you move, I’m moving. You know that.” 

Zayn looked surprised, but managed to shake it off with a shrug. “I’m not moving up here. No matter how pitiful he looks.” He gestured at Liam who purposefully pulled his best sad puppy face which just made Zayn put his hand over Liam’s face to cover it. “Stop that.” 

“It’s not as bad a place as it looks,” Louis piped in. “I didn’t think I’d wind up here, probably closer to home you know, but things worked out the way they did and here I am.” 

“You move up here on your own then?” Niall asked, somehow managing to ask a slightly intrusive and personal question without seeming like he was intruding at all. There was just something about him. Since the first day he and Liam met in the dorms at uni, there has been something about Niall that drew people to him, made them want to be his friends. Liam had struggled with that his whole life. He’d been sure he was still struggling with Zayn and Niall until one night a few months after they met where they told him that he was without a doubt one of their best friends and they weren’t sure how he’d missed that. 

“Ah no, drug my best mate along. He’s…” Louis looked around the pub then frowned. “Eh well he’s gone somewhere. Can’t miss him though, all arms and legs and curls. He’s working at the bakery in town at the moment, saving to open his own place.” 

Liam frowned then looked over at Louis. “The one with the hair who works at the bakery?” he asked, surprise in his voice. 

Louis stared at him for a half a moment then laughed and nodded. “That’s him. Why? Has he convinced you to buy stock in scones yet?” 

Liam shook his head. “No, but he seems to have charmed my mother half to death. She always talks about him at Sunday dinners, showing off whatever pastry he’s convinced her to buy this week.” It was a funny story until Liam realized he’d just admitted to regularly spending Sundays at his parents’ house, which just sounded sad. 

Louis didn’t seem to notice, still laughing at his beer. “Ah, that would be Harry. He’s got a knack for charming nans and mums alike. I think mine likes him more than me honestly.” 

“There’s no way someone could like someone more than you.” Liam blurted the words before they had a chance to get stopped by any sort of brain filter and as soon as he said them he turned pink. He heard the tiny intake of breath from Zayn and felt the way Louis froze next to him. “I mean...it’s just...you can charm a class full of five year olds…” He really needed to not ever talk when he’d been drinking. Ever. 

After a moment Louis’ shoulders unclenched and he smiled over his cup at Liam, eyes crinkling at the sides. “All it takes to charm five year olds is a love of paste, glitter, fingerpaint and singing the same songs over and over again. And all it takes to charm their fathers is a working knowledge of little girl barrettes and what to do with broken cookies.” He was teasing, Liam realized that, but instead of feeling hurt about it like he normally would, it actually made him feel better. 

Niall asked a question about football, steering the conversation away from Liam and Liam lost track quickly, enjoying more the animated way Louis talked about his hometown club rather than what he was actually saying about them. After a few moments Zayn caught his eye across the table, raising one eyebrow in question, asking if Liam was doing okay. Surprisingly enough when he nodded, he meant it. Definitely okay. 

Louis stayed at their table for another round and Liam couldn’t help but wonder if this was something he and Louis could do more often. He didn’t have someone to spend nights out with, someone to talk to that wasn’t Harriett or his parents, and it might be nice to do more than string his life together with phone calls from Zayn and Niall. He was strongly considering suggesting it when Louis spotted Harry and waved, jumping up from his seat. They all watched his gangly friend blink, then wave back slowly. “Ah, that’s my sign that we should go,” Louis said with a laugh. “Good to meet you,” he told Zayn and Niall then turned back towards Liam. “See you Monday. Though, actually, I need you to sign up to chaperone the field trip in two weeks. You can do all the heavy lifting and that way the children won’t laugh at me when they realize I can’t carry the box of lunches. Plus, the moms who also sign up would much rather watch you carry heavy things around than me, which will keep them from getting snippy, so it all works out well yeah?” 

“Uh...yeah?” 

“Great. I’ll add you to the list. See you Monday!” Louis smiled brightly then trotted over to Harry, tucking under his arm as Harry pressed his face into Louis hair. Liam watched them leave, turning his eyes back to his friends to find them staring at him. 

“What?” 

Zayn looked at Niall, and Niall shrugged his shoulders in a way to give Zayn room to talk. “So are there rules against banging your daughter’s teacher?” Zayn asked carefully. 

“What?” Liam’s voice cracked slightly, eyes going wide. 

“Just saying, you two seem...cute.” 

“Cute?”

“Obviously flirting. That’s what he means to say,” Nial clarified. 

“I wasn’t,” Liam insisted. “I mean maybe, but he’s not...no. I’ve been drinking.” 

“He did say people would enjoy watching you carry things…” Zayn pointed out quietly. 

“Mums. He said mums would, not him. He’s not...no. I couldn’t even if...no.” Liam waved them away because the idea was ridiculous. Even if he wanted to, which he was not admitting to despite his outbursts and his stupid warm feeling he got from being around Louis, he couldn’t. There were probably rules and if there weren’t rules there had to be some sort of principle or something about that sort of thing. 

Niall looked at Zayn who shrugged. “Riiight. No it is then. Another round?” 

This time Liam didn’t protest. Another round sounded great. 

\--------

Liam wasn’t at all sure what got into him, thinking he could drink like he was still in uni, like he did it regularly, but for some reason he really thought he’d be over his hangover by midday when he, Zayn, and Niall met his parents at Harriet’s football game. Sadly, he’d completely misjudged it and had snagged one of Niall’s snapbacks to pull low over his eyes to try and keep the offending sun out of them. He felt miserable, but he was here for Harriet and thankfully, her uncles were picking up the slack in the cheering department. 

The kids on the field were still too small to play with any sort of real plan, mostly just running after the ball in a herd, moving from one end of the shorter field to the other, kicking wildly and not caring who was winning because in the end they all got treats like they won. It was silly, but Harriet enjoyed it and Liam figured as long as he could keep her in things he knew about, he was going to try. He was at a complete loss in her dance classes, mostly just nodding along with the other mothers and praying he had remembered to pack both of her shoes. At least out here he knew what all the terms mean and he could keep up. Well, he could when he wasn’t hungover. 

He was just about to consider giving up and finding a quiet spot to sit in when Harriet broke away from the pile of children with the ball and somehow managed to dribble it a few feet before kicking it into the goal. It was the wrong goal, but it hardly mattered when they weren’t keeping score and everyone was cheering for her. Niall was jumping up and down on the sidelines, cheering like mad and even Zayn was whooping. Liam managed a few shouts himself before cringing at the sound of his own voice. It was enough though to get a wave from his daughter before she dove back into the pack of children after the ball.

“You’re raising a bit of a ringer there aren’t you?” 

The voice behind him had Liam whipping around a little too quickly for his hangover, not at all sure what to make of Louis standing in front of him. Like at the pub the night before, this version of Louis clashed with the one that Liam was used to seeing at school, only instead of the messy rocker look, Louis now looked like he’d walked off of the pitch of some professional team. His messy hair was tucked back in a headband of some sort, which really, logically, should not have been attractive, but for some reason made his eyes pop even more. The uniform he had on was a little sweaty, grass stains on his socks, but everything hung on his frame perfectly, with hints of tan skin and toned muscles left and right. “I…” Liam tried for words, but nothing came out and he was sure he was standing there with his mouth hanging open like an imbecile. 

“You are! Look at her. She’s incredible. I’ve now picked out her recess activity for the rest of the year. I’m gonna turn that girl into a proper footballer, eh?” Louis didn’t even seem to notice the way Liam struggled with words, elbowing him lightly with one arm then adjusting the duffle bag hooked on one shoulder.

“What are you doing here?” Liam blurted, which had Louis giving him a little bit of a look before he laughed, elbowing Liam again. 

“Just finished up my game,” he said, pointing over his shoulder towards the larger fields at the other end of the park. “Made it about two days of being here before Harry threw the football at me, missing by four feet, and insisted I find other people to play with because he refused to kickabout with me anymore. Found an adult league and here I am. They call us the Rams,” he said gesturing towards the blue jersey he had on. “Apparently all the team names are American football teams because someone thought that would be amusing. At least we’re not the Patriots. That feels sort of blasphemous to queen and country, you know?” 

“Right, yes. Of course.” Liam had an urge to ask just when Louis’ games were, wondering how he looked on the field. That was entirely inappropriate, at least it could be given the way his imagination immediately tried to spiral out of control. “But why here?” Liam waved around him. 

Louis laughed again, but it was a softer thing this time and instead of looking Liam in the eye he ducked his head slightly. “I saw you and I wanted to say hi.” 

“Oh.” Liam winced again and tried to roll his eyes at himself which just made his head hurt more. 

“Too much fun last night?” Louis asked, reaching up to push at the snapback brim which Liam both adored because it was a sweet and hated because it let the sun in and made him squint which made his head hurt. 

“Yes. It’s Niall’s fault.” 

“Could have told you you couldn’t keep up with the Irishman,” Louis teased lightly before his voice changed slightly. “Just so long as it wasn’t mine.” 

Liam was caught off guard by the softness in Louis but he shook his head before he could dwell on it. “No. Of course not.” Yes, part of why he’d had too much to drink was because of the blue eyed man in front of him and wishing he wasn’t so enthralled by everything he did, but it wasn’t a bad thing. He certainly wasn’t letting Louis take the blame for his hangover. It wasn’t like Louis had put drinks in his hands like Niall had..

“Good.” Louis smiled up at Liam which seemed to have cleared everything up, despite leaving Liam with more questions. He wanted to ask another, opening his mouth to do just that as the final whistle blew for Harriett’s game and his attention was needed elsewhere. Harriet was already caught between her honorary uncles, up on Niall’s shoulders and giving Zayn high fives from up above his head. 

“She’s too big for that now, Niall,” Liam chastised, but Niall waved him away. 

“No such thing.” He batted at Liam’s arm as he tried to get Harriet down, but didn’t get to it when she spotted someone over his shoulder. 

“Mr. Tommo!” The shriek was one of pure excitement, her hands grabbing his way instead of Liam’s, eyes wide and curls bouncing as she bounced against Niall’s shoulders. “Did you have a game today, too?” Liam tried not to be offended that his five year old daughter reached that conclusion before he had. 

“I did, just up there.” Louis grinned at Harriet, pointing the same way he had for Liam. 

“Did you see my goal? Did you win?” she asked, leaning on Niall’s head and smushing his hair flat which made Zayn laugh behind his hand. 

“I did see it, you were great! And of course I won,” Louis said. Liam wasn’t sure if that was the message a teacher was supposed to be displaying, that he should have said something more about how it was fun no matter who won, but apparently not Mr. Tommo. 

“Of course,” Harriet agreed with him. “You look like one of the footballers my daddy thinks are cute on the telly,” she added and Liam all but reached for her mouth to cover it. 

“Do I now?” Louis looked at Liam and Liam shook his head. 

“I never said any such thing,” he tried to cover, but Zayn and Niall were laughing and not really helping him. “We should go.” 

Louis looked like he was trying hard not to grin. He reached out to give Harriet a high five, telling her he’d see her tomorrow and elbowed at Liam. “I’ll see you, too.” He smiled once more, waved to them all then headed towards the car park. 

“Sooo Mr. Tommo looks like the footballers daddy thinks are cute, huh?” Niall asked, looking up at Harriet who nodded. “Go figure that.” 

“Shut up,” Liam pushed at Niall. “Just for that you don’t get ice cream.” 

“What! No. You would never deny your favorite uncle ice cream, would you princess?” 

Harriet shook her head and gave Liam her best puppy dog eyes. “You can’t not let Uncle Ni have ice cream. I scored a goal!” Liam wasn’t sure how that logic worked exactly, but he gave in with a sigh. 

 

“Fine, everyone gets ice cream. Come on, let’s go.” 

Niall and Harriet cheered, Niall running around with her on his shoulders ahead of Zayn and Liam who were left behind to collect their things. “He does seem to have taken an interest in you,” Zayn pointed out softly. 

“Because I’m almost his age and he’s teaching my daughter,” Liam said quickly. He didn’t want to think about Louis paying attention. That was too much. 

“Right. And he does look like your type.”

“I don’t have a guy type.” 

“You do too. It’s like all Beckham and Christian Bale and Louis.” 

Liam couldn’t even deny that. He chewed on his lip and shook his head. “Not happening.” 

Zayn just nodded. “Whatever you say.” He paused for a moment then looked up at his friend. “I just want you to be happy.” 

“Funny. I want the same thing for you,” Liam countered, not wanting to focus on his unhappiness. He didn’t have a right to be unhappy. He had a wonderful daughter, wonderful family, and everything else in between. He was happy. He just might have been a little lonely, but that was his fault for being so unbearable his wife left him. 

“I am happy. _We’re_ happy. It’s just unconventional.” 

“Unconventional in that you’re sleeping together, but you’re not really together?” 

Zayn hesitated then nodded. “Yeah. Mostly. It’s fine. We’ll sort it out. We always do. Just like you will.” 

Liam wasn’t entirely sure, but he didn’t say it. “I’ll get over it. And Harriet will stop pointing out what I find attractive. It’ll be fine.” 

“Whatever you say, Li.”


	2. Chapter 2

Liam was far better prepared for the field trip than he’d been for any other school activity, but given that he wasn’t the only parent attending, he was determined to prove he could do this. And he could do it without Louis’ help. He’d gotten up early, gotten Hattie ready, packed her coat and her mittens just in case it was too cold. He’d picked out a nice shirt for himself even if it was the third one he’d put on, but he felt good about it. They were on time at the school, but Harriet had left his side the moment she’d seen her friends, leaving him holding her backpack and frowning at the bus not sure where to sit. 

“They do that, love,” one of the mothers said to him, patting his arm lightly. “Just wait until she starts dating.” She smiled and Liam couldn’t see how. Harriet dating some _boy_ sounded terrible. Actually he was strongly hoping that she liked girls because, while they were frustrating, they weren’t boys and boys were terrible. “You’ll get used to it, sweetheart.” 

The woman left him gaping after her, not sure what to do with himself and more worried about Harriet than he had been two moments before. “Oh dear, you’re not having another morning, are you?” 

Liam looked up to see Louis there, half a pout on his features, watching him closely. “What? No. No! I’m ready. Everything’s ready. I just...I thought I’d have more time before she hates me or is embarrassed by me.” 

Louis laughed, reaching out to tuck his arm in Liam’s pulling him towards the bus. “She’s not embarrassed by you. She adores you. She’s just excited to see her friends.” 

“And she’s annoyed I changed my shirt three times. She told me that in the car.” 

“You changed three times?” 

“What? No. I mean yes. I…” 

Louis made a point in leaning back, free hand on his hip to actually looking at Liam’s shirt before nodding. “You landed on a good choice then. Here. Sit with me.” He nodded towards a seat the front, gesturing for Liam to scoot in as Louis stood at the front of the bus. Liam got into the seat, realizing that the bus wasn’t nearly as large as he remembered them being in his youth. Much to his abject horror, he was likely going to wind up pressed close to Louis so they would both fit. He tried to find the best way to sit, turning slightly as Louis talked about how the class should behave then made them count off to make sure everyone was present. By the time he declared that they were off and sat down, Liam had only just barely managed to not be taking up the whole seat. Liam tried not to get lost in the way Louis’ thigh was touching his own if only for his own sanity and because Louis was talking and Liam was pretty sure he needed to pay attention. 

“I would have liked to take them to a zoo where you can see really big animals, but this place has giraffes and I guess, they’re small so even the animals that seem small to us will seem big to them,” Louis was saying, holding a brochure for the zoological garden they were headed to out to Liam. 

“If any of them love animals half as much as Hattie does now because of your lessons, they’ll be fine,” Liam said, looking at the brochure before turning his focus back to Louis. “She demanded a book on snakes and lizards at the library the other day because it looked like the one you have. I didn’t think little girls were supposed to like those sort of things.” 

Louis smiled and shook his head. “Little girls can like whatever they want. Snakes, lizards, football, princess dresses. Last week your daughter said she wanted to be Batman when she grew up.”

Liam laughed and nodded. “Yeah, she told me the same thing. Batman, but if he still had his parents.” Liam heard his voice drop at the word parents. He would have prefered his daughter had said father, but she’d said both which had made his heart hurt. Her mother wanted nothing to do with them. Maybe his daughter was suited to be Batman. 

He wasn’t sure how long he was lost in his own head, but it was Louis’ hand on his thigh that pulled him out of it. “Did something happen to Harriet’s mom?” 

“She left me,” Liam said, shaking his head. “Nothing tragic though. Well minus divorce papers and custody papers. I just feel like I failed at something.” 

Louis squeezed his fingers against Liam’s thigh and shook his head. “You didn’t fail at anything. Things just aren’t meant to be sometimes. It happens. It’s not your fault.” 

Liam laughed darkly, a noise with no humor in it, shaking his head. “The divorce papers say otherwise. She had a list of complaints that I didn’t even know were issues. I thought some of them were just how we worked.” He sighed and looked out the window. “We don’t have to talk about it.” Louis hadn’t moved his hand from his leg and now his thumb was absently stroking against Liam’s jeans. It was comforting, but at the same time so very much _there_ leaving him feeling far too aware of how close they were.

“We don’t have to, but we could. If you wanted. I’d suggested something to drink to go with it.” 

“Are you…” Liam turned to look at Louis. The teacher immediately retracted his hand, setting both of his in his lap and smiling a smile that looked fake. 

“No. I’m sure you talked it through with Zayn and Niall. Nevermind. How are they? They’re together, yeah?” 

Liam was so thrown by the change in subject that he just went with it instead of protesting that he hadn’t meant to turn Louis down. The last thing he wanted to do was turn Louis down. “Um, yeah, they are. Sort of? It’s complicated.” 

“Isn’t everything these days?” Louis wasn’t looking at Liam when he asked it, his voice quieter than Liam had ever heard it. 

“I guess. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t work…” 

Louis nodded, still not looking at Liam and Liam had to wonder if it would have been different if hadn’t second guessed himself. They rode the rest of the way in almost silence, something that Liam thought would be painful for Louis, but despite the awkward start it settled into something comfortable, Louis shifting so their shoulders are touching as well as legs, hands daring near one another without actually making contact. Normally Liam might have fallen asleep, but every jolt of the bus on the road, or shift of Louis’ hand shot through him like electricity, keeping him awake.

Once they arrived though, there wasn’t a spare moment to go back to where they’d been. Louis was leading the class, lining them up in neat little lines and getting them through the ticket point and into the park with an ease that Liam couldn’t have managed with just Harriet. The children followed after him like he was their Peter Pan, promising adventures in Neverland, thoroughly enrapt in what he had to say, the way he pointed out the animals in the habitats. They clearly studied the animals because many of the children remembered things about them, what they ate, where they liked to sleep, things that Liam didn’t remember learning in school but wished he had. He was drawn to Louis too, his bright smile, the way he talked with his hands a little, the way he answered questions and gently corrected his students when they get something wrong. It was something he got lost in watching, hands tucked into his pockets, following along behind the students as he learned about the meerkats and their family system as well. 

“He is rather good, isn’t he?” 

Liam couldn’t help but be startled by one of the mothers who suddenly appeared at his elbow. She was a touch younger than the other mothers, probably more like two years older than him than five or six. “He is. Hattie’s been talking about animals for weeks, telling me everything Mr. Tommo told her. She seems to love him.” 

“So has Oliver,” the mom said and Liam assumed that was her son. “Not sure what it is about him that they’re drawn to, but it’s something.” 

Liam wasn’t sure how she didn’t see it. How anyone didn’t see it. Louis was Peter Pan, standing at an open window promising a world where children never have to grow up, where they could be whatever they like and interested in whatever they like, where there was nothing but happiness of childhood and not the tragic sadness of adulthood. Liam was ready to explain it or at least try to, but the mom talked before he could start. 

“So Hattie’s yours then? Not just a big brother or something? We,” she gestured to the other mothers. “We weren’t sure. You’re the only one that drops her off, but you’re young.” 

“I’m not that young.” Though he was young to have a five year old he supposed, considering not everyone got girlfriends pregnant in university like he had. 

“No, not that young. It’s Liam, right? I’m Olivia.” She held her hand out to shake, smiling more this time, and obviously for him. “I know. Oliver, Olivia. It’s cheesy. It was just a joke, but it stuck. I’m just glad he’s not named after his father.” 

Liam took her hand with a nod. “Liam. And his father...isn’t around?” That much was obvious from the tone and the lack of a wedding ring, but not everyone wore them. 

“Nope. Well, every other weekend, but not permanently. You? We’ve all been wondering.” 

“Me?” Why did anyone care about him? “Oh I’m...no. Divorced. Not married. Didn’t work out.” 

“Shame that,” Olivia said, but she didn’t sound too upset. She actually sounded amused, maybe even pleased, and when Liam looked back at her again she was smiling. “Shame on her really. Not sure how anyone could walk out on you.” 

It took a moment, longer than it should and Liam could all but hear Zayn laughing in the back of his mind. She was flirting with him. It wasn’t even a subtle thing, just an almost outright sort of thing that only happened when the other person had nothing left to lose. 

Liam found himself stumbling over words again, trying to make them happen so he wasn’t gaping at her smile, or the way her hand was suddenly on his arm. It reminded him of Louis, how he’d touched him that snack day, reassuring Liam that he wasn’t screwing up, that he was doing just fine. It wasn’t the same though because it wasn’t Louis. It was Olivia and it wasn’t to reassure him but rather draw him in. “Someone did.” He heard the words rather than said them, not at all sure where they came from, but he supposed it was the same space that the bashful smile he felt creeping onto his features came from. Some sort of second nature that had charmed his ex-wife and women alike. It seemed to be working on Olivia too with the way she smiled back and shook her head. 

“Her loss. Definitely her loss.” Olivia’s hand stayed on his arm for a moment longer, then Liam shrugged and it slipped away. 

“That’s not what she’d say, but maybe.” What was he doing? Was he that desperate?

“Look Liam, I was thinking. Oliver really likes Hattie. Do you think you’d be interested in scheduling a playdate? They could run around in the garden and you and I can have tea like proper adults?” 

She looked hopeful as she asked, which was probably why Liam didn’t turn her down directly. That and Harriet might like having a playdate with Oliver for all he knew and turning down the kid’s mum’s offer of a loaded playdate might ruin Harriet’s chances of making a new friend. Liam hadn’t had many friends in primary and he wasn’t about to stand between his daughter and making them. “Sure,” he said, surprised at how sure his voice sounded and how easily the smile came to him. “She’d love that. Plus, adult time would be nice.” 

Olivia squeezed his arm again. “Great.” Liam felt himself smile, but somehow he still managed to pick up the stumble in Louis’ speech about meerkats and when Liam looked over, Louis was staring at him. One of the children was tugging at his sleeve, pointing into the habitat where the chubby little animals were standing guard, watching the children. Liam had never seen Louis not completely focused on his students, but there he was staring at Liam and Olivia, his mouth twisted up in a face that Liam had never seen before. There was something about the curve of his lip, the way it sat in an almost sneer, that contrasted with his eyes, wide and blue and full or something that Liam would have described as hurt if he didn’t know better. Louis held his gaze for a moment longer before the tugging on his sleeve pulled his eyes away and he squatted to be eye level with the small person demanding his attention. 

A few moments later Olivia moved back to her post at the other side of the group and Liam was left trying to catch Louis’ eye again, but somehow Louis managed to avoid him for the rest of the morning. 

\-----

Louis finally looked at Liam again around lunch, but it was just to instruct him what they needed out of the back of the bus, the coolers with lunches in them, and just like he’d said at the pub, he had Liam carrying the heavy cases to the picnic area that the class was gathered around. Louis had been right in his assumption, the mothers, especially Olivia, didn’t bother to the hide the way they watched him, but when Liam looked over at Louis, hoping they could laugh about it, he didn’t meet his eyes. 

Liam tried not to sigh as he sat next to Harriet at her picnic table. Apparently whatever he’d done that was so offensive that morning she’d forgiven him for and now he was being introduced to all her friends. They were already chattering on about lizards the size of dinosaurs when suddenly Harriet half jumped out of her seat. “Mr. Tommo!’ 

Liam looked up in time to see the teacher turn, eyebrow raised at his daughter and casting only the slightest of glances towards Liam. He had a moment of hesitation before he headed to the table. “What is it, love?” Louis asked, smile just for Harriet and Liam had to force himself not to make a sound at the sweet pet name. 

“Can you sit with us?” Harriet asked, already shifting over so there would be space between her and Liam. “We have questions about dinosaurs and Daddy won’t know the answers.” 

“What? No one asked me anything about dinosaurs,” Liam said, but still moved over as his daughter did to make space for Louis. Why Harriet had decided he had to sit in between them was beyond him, but he could make space nonetheless. 

“Do you know about dinosaurs?” Louis asked, voice teasing and Liam felt the air rush out of his lungs. There was something about finally having his attention after missing it for so long that left him breathless. 

“Um,” Liam started before he got control of his voice and breathing. “No.” 

Louis nodded, then moved into the space that had been created for him. “I guess I’ll have to stay if there are questions that need to be answered.” 

Liam couldn’t help the way everything felt better the moment Louis was pressed against his side, just like he had been on the bus, elbows brushing as they ate and he explained how some scientists thought dinosaurs were more like birds than lizards, about how they ate different things and how their bones were buried underground just waiting for people to dig them up. There was something about him that took up all of Liam’s attention, just like the children at the table. He hadn’t cared about dinosaurs since he was a child, but the moment Harriet asked if they could go see their bones at a museum sometime soon, Liam was tempted to look up one on his phone right then. “You should come too, Mr. Tommo.” Thankfully Louis had told her maybe, flashing a smile over his shoulder at Liam that left Liam feeling hopeful he might actually tag along. 

The rest of the afternoon was better after that, though Louis did give Liam a stern look when Olivia wandered his way again, chatting at him. Liam still wasn’t sure why but he didn’t shut down like he had before, which was better in Liam’s mind. Even better than that was Louis sitting with him on the bus again, thigh pressed against thigh, this time with Liam in the aisle so he could stretch one leg out of the cramped seat. It did leave Liam open to chatting with Olivia again, since she’d moved to sit across the aisle from him. The conversation only had some of his focus as Liam went through the motions, answering questions about Harriet and his time at university, asking her questions so she would talk about herself and he wouldn’t have to. What had the rest of his attention was Louis, who’d spent most of the ride looking out the window, but his hand was always close to Liam’s leg, tapping out a rhythm to music only he could hear, knuckles brushing Liam as he scratched at a spot on his own leg, occasionally drifting just a little too far and grazing the edge of Liam’s jeans. 

Midway through one of Olivia’s stories, Liam dropped his own hand to his thigh fingers grazing against Louis. For a moment Louis froze, but Liam didn’t move his hand, brushing his thumb against Louis’ fingers as subtly as possible. It seemed to do whatever Liam had intended even if he wasn’t sure himself what he intended, and Louis relaxed with the tiniest of sighs, shoulder slumping more into Liam’s for the rest of the ride. 

The playdate with Olivia and Oliver the following weekend went fine, at least until Harriet came running over to the bench at the side of the playground that Liam and Olivia were sitting on, skinned up knee and giant tears in her eyes. Liam had managed to take care of the boo boo, but not the tears and wound up cutting the date short to take her home, her face pressed into his neck as she sniffed and cried until he had her home and curled up on the sofa with Finding Nemo. 

A few nights later, he left Harriet with his parents and went out with just Olivia and the date went worse than the playdate. He only barely followed her conversation at dinner, not able to care enough about her or what she had to say. His mind kept wandering and he hadn’t felt that pressured to stop it. After dinner she’d leaned in, pressing for him to take her home to his empty house, but Liam couldn’t bring himself to do it. He didn’t want to. It wasn’t like him to outright turn someone down, but he wound up doing it anyway, shaking his head and driving her home, much to her disgust. 

At afternoon pick up the next day, the glares from Olivia and the not-so-hushed whispers to the other mothers were impossible to miss, but Liam did his best to ignore them. What really calmed his concerns though was the way Louis seemed to hear them, but smiled at Liam bright as always, maybe even a little brighter, and pressed cool fingers against his wrist briefly before Liam left with Harriet. It wasn’t much, but it was definitely enough. 

\-------

The snow started falling midday on Christmas Eve, just as Liam and Harriet arrived at his parents’ house for dinner and the holiday. The Christmas season had always been his favorite time of year. Maybe it was the way everyone seemed happy, welcoming, ready to do good and not fight even if just for a few days. Maybe it was because Harriet had been out of school for the past week and they had nothing but fun prepping for Santa Claus to visit and he didn’t have to give her up for the day to school. It meant he missed seeing Louis daily, but having Harriet around made everything better. It kept the smile bright on his face as he and Harriet burst through the door, snow on their clothes and her tugging at his ridiculous beanie with snowflakes and a pompom on it from where she was on his back. 

“Liam, I swear sometimes you’re the child,” his mother chided when she appeared in the hallway from the kitchen, laughing at the noise they were making, making his parents’ dog bark and dance in circles around his feet while he and Harriet twirled in the mud room. 

“Tell her, Hattie,” Liam coaxed which got a laugh out of Harriet before she started talking. 

“But Gramma it’s _snowing_ ,” Harriet said in her best Anna voice, because maybe they’d been watching Frozen on repeat. Liam twirled them both again singing an odd rendition of “Let It Go” and his mother shook her head. 

“You’re both silly. And late. Come on, out of your coats and hats. There’s a table that needs setting.” 

Liam leaned in to kiss his mother’s cheek before letting Harriet down and they scrambled out of winter gear so they could help. He grabbed plates and utensils for the dining room table, handing Harriet the forks to set around, but stopping short when he saw the number of chairs around the table. “Mum?” he called back, setting down the four plates he’d gotten and moving back into the kitchen. “Are Ruthie or Nic coming home?” His sisters weren’t supposed to be able to make it back for the holiday, both with other obligations, but there were two extra chairs at the table. 

“Oh no sweetheart, but I invited the nice bloke from the bakery and his _roommate_ over since they’re far from home and couldn’t head home for the holiday.” She put a little too much emphasis on roommate, as if it implied something more than sharing a flat together, but Liam could only guess what. He grabbed two extra plates from the cupboard and nodded. It was weird, but it wasn’t the first time his mother had welcomed strays into their home. Even their dog was a stray puppy that had just wandered up one day and decided to stay. It was all in the spirit of Christmas, wasn’t it?

“Fair enough. Which bloke from the bakery?” 

“Harry, the one with the curly hair. He’s the best they’ve got. Even promised to bring some things over with him as a thank you for having him and his friend.” Again there was too much emphasis on the relationship that Harry had with his plus one. Liam thought it all sounded familiar, too familiar, and it dawned on him just in time for the doorbell to ring. No. No. His parents didn’t. 

Harriet was running towards the door, shouting that she’d get it before he could stop her. He didn’t hear it open, but he heard her excited yelp of “Mr. Tommo!” loud and clear. His mother gave Liam a look and he tried hard not to look as anxious as he felt.

“Harry’s roommate is her teacher. Louis.” 

“You rang?” 

Liam spun too quickly, almost dropping the plates in his hand at the sight of Louis there, back in his red trousers, holding Harriet’s hand. “Lou…” All of Liam’s excitement for the holiday dropped to his stomach and pooled there in an uncomfortably good sort of warmth at the sight of Louis, pink cheeked from the cold, tiny flakes of snow stuck in his hair, and smile as bright as his trousers. 

“Look! Daddy! Mr. Tommo came for Christmas Eve. And guess what! It’s his birthday!” Harriet was bouncing, still holding Louis’ hand. 

“It’s your…” Liam started quietly, but his mother got to her words quicker. 

“Your birthday really?” Louis nodded and Liam’s mother untangled herself from the hug she was in with Harry (when did Harry get behind him?) and wrapped Louis up in one too. Louis hesitated for an instant then hugged her back with his free arm. 

“Always kind of the worse sort of day for a birthday, but I like it well enough,” Louis said as she pulled back. “I like to pretend all the decorations and celebrating are just for me.” He winked at Liam, as if he was speaking to him and not Liam’s mother. 

“And I brought a special treat for celebrating just Lou,” Harry added, his voice making Liam jump. It seemed too low and loud for the lanky man, but he was holding up a box with a grin on his face. “Thanks for having us again, Mrs. Payne. You must be Liam.” Harry held a hand out with a grin. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” Liam just barely caught the way Louis’ eyes went wide at his roommate before he turned to shake Harry’s hand.

“You have?” 

“Yeah, your mom talks about you a lot when she comes in. Well, really she talks about this one,” he said easily dropping to his knees to tickle Harriet, who giggled and squirmed. She wasn’t really shy, but she seemed easily drawn to Harry, letting him scoop her up and onto his back like he wasn’t a stranger. “Lou talks about you, too,” he added, flashing his roommate a smile despite the fact that Louis’ eyes narrowed at Harry. 

Liam was too baffled by everything going on that he couldn’t quite process just what was happening. Somehow Harry and Louis had invaded his Christmas, Harry had his daughter giggling from the first second he looked at her and, instead of it being weird, it felt like they belonged there. Liam was amazed at the fact that it didn’t bother him. He liked it. 

“Here, dear.” Liam jumped when his mother set the extra utensils to go with the plates that apparently were still in his hands. “You and Louis finish up the table.” She gave her son a little nudge in the hip towards the dining room. 

“Excellent. Hattie and I are off to look at the tree!” Harry was already spinning a giggling Harriet towards the living room where the tree was set up, like it always had been. Liam watched them go before his mother nudged him again and he shook his head, leading the way to the dining room, holding the door for Louis. 

They were quiet for a moment, Louis setting out forks, knives and spoons on one side of the table while Liam found napkins in the china cabinet door and set those down too. Louis broke the silence though like it was torturing him, dropping a spoon apologizing for it. Then he couldn’t stop. “I’m sorry, Liam. I didn’t know. I mean I didn’t have a say. I wasn’t....He didn’t tell me until this morning. He knew apparently, that she’s your mum and you’d be here, but he didn’t tell me because he thought I wouldn’t come. And I know it’s your holiday, and I didn’t mean to upset you, but your mum invited us and she’s right we didn’t have anywhere else go to and that’s just _sad_ and…” 

Liam looked up surprised, napkin half folded in his hand. “I’m not upset you’re here. Why would I be?” 

Louis opened his mouth to answer then closed it frowning at Liam for a moment. “You didn’t seem amused.” 

“Well, I was a little caught off guard; no one told me either. I was just surprised.” And sure he was going to have to spend the entire time Louis was here wanting to be closer to him and worried that someone, including Louis, might notice. Harry might have said that Louis talked about him, but Liam wasn’t reading into that. His daughter was in Louis’ class. He’d been a hot mess on snack day, he’d helped out with the field trip. It was probably just normal dinner conversation between the two of them about how terrible of a father Liam was. “But not bad surprised. I’m glad you’re here. You two shouldn’t be alone at the holidays.” Liam stopped himself when he heard it though, thinking of his mother’s inflection in her words. “Wait, did you want to be alone for the holidays? Just the two of you?” 

Louis looked around like Liam might be asking something else that question. “Just the two of who?” he asked before his eyes went wide with realization. “You think Harry...No. He’s just my best mate. It’s not like that.” 

 

“We tried once,” Harry offered from the doorway, making Liam jump and then check to be sure his daughter wasn’t still with him. “But turns out that no matter how pretty Louis is, it’s not my thing.” 

“What’s not?” Liam asked dumbly. 

“Boys. Guys. Dangling bits. Lou’s game, not mine.” 

“Harry!” Louis looked like he might start throwing utensils at his roommate, but Liam stepped between. 

 

“It’s fine. I don’t care. I’m...I don’t care.” Liam smiled as Louis’ hand lowered. “Now my mum, she might think you’re...well it seems like she fancies herself pretty open and progressive by inviting you both.” 

Harry laughed and Louis rolled his eyes. “This is always your fault, Haz. You could help out here and maybe lead people to believe you like women rather than being open to anything.” 

Harry held his side until the laughter died away and nodded. “Fine, fine. I’ll ask if I can sit next to Harriet. Then you two can sit together.” He winked at Liam and this time Louis snatched the napkin out of Liam’s hands to throw at Harry’s retreating form. 

“It’s not like that,” Louis insisted when Liam looked at him. “I never said anything.” 

Liam was struck with the fact that he’d told the same sort of lie when Harriet tried to out him in front of Louis. “It’s not like that with Harry?” 

Louis looked like he wanted to correct Liam, but seemed to think better of it and shook his head. “Nope. Just friends. Like he said. We got drunk in uni and came up with the brilliant idea of trying because it was easier to date someone you liked being around, but it didn’t get very far. So yeah.” Liam went to claim the napkin that Louis had thrown, nodding as he did it. 

“Good then. Then you should be here. It’s your birthday after all. You can’t celebrate alone.” Liam looked up in time to see Louis smile brightly before biting his lip and nodding. He wanted to say something else, but his mother interrupted him, calling out that dinner was ready and she needed help getting it to the table. It broke whatever moment they’d had in a flurry to help and Liam tried not to regret it. 

Dinner was the affair it always was, but there was something different this year with Louis and Harry taking the place of Liam’s sisters. There was still just as much teasing going on, but Liam wasn’t as annoyed by it as he tended to be with his siblings. Harry spent half the meal listening to everything that Harriet had to say, asking her questions about school, what she was learning, the dinosaurs she wanted to see at the museum, everything. More than once Liam had to remind her not to talk with her mouth full, just to maintain some decorum of manners in her excitement to have an actual adult talk to her like she was a peer rather than a child.

Louis had wound up sitting next to Liam after Harry had explained that he’d rather sit by Harriet because they had the same name. The occasional brush of their elbows or the way Louis bumped into his shoulder when he laughed had Liam’s attention more than anything else at the table. More than once he had the urge to reach across the small space between and hold Louis’ hand. It wasn’t lost on Liam that he found the slighter man attractive, that he’d known since the first moment, but seeing him here made sense. Like Louis belonged. This wasn’t reassuring touches in the school hallway or elbows and knees pressed together on a cramped bus. This was lazy smiles just for Liam, a light shine to blue eyes and pinked cheeks from the wine Louis had brought, and booming laughter as if there really wasn’t a better place to be than right where Louis was. 

Liam never wanted him to leave. 

After dinner, Harry and Liam’s mother retreated back to the kitchen for dessert while Louis chatted up Liam’s father about football and the local team’s chances at making it big. Even that left Liam with an ache in his chest, seeing the way that Louis and his father got along. His parents knew about Liam’s sexuality, having caught him and a boy from the track team mid-snog on the couch when he was still in school. They’d been upset at first, but in the end gave in and accepted it, stating that they just wanted Liam to be happy. He’d never brought home a boyfriend before though, and while Louis wasn’t that, seeing how the two men chatted made Liam want that from Louis even more. 

He was fully stuck, not just staring or lingering too long in his classroom, no Liam was completely stuck on Louis Tomlinson. There was no avoiding it now. He’d had just enough wine to quell the nerves in his stomach, enough that he felt brave, like he could say something, anything, but the lights in the room dimmed just as Liam got his hand around Louis’ elbow, before his attention could really turn to Liam, and suddenly Harry and his mother were there starting the first bars of Happy Birthday with a cake lit with candles in front of them. 

Harriet and his father took picked up as quickly as they could, but it took Liam longer to join in, feeling like if he replaced the words he wanted to say with the words of the song he’d never say them. Louis had turned to smile brightly at him though and it was enough to launch Liam into song, letting his hand slip away from Louis’ arm just as the song finished. Louis blew out the candles once the cake was set in front of him, grinning so brightly Liam wasn’t sure any light had been extinguished. 

Once the cake was cut and everyone was happily eating, Harry showing Harriet the best way to evenly have icing on every bite, Louis leaned closer to Liam. “Earlier, were you going to say something? You seemed like you were trying to get my attention.” 

Liam looked up from his cake, surprised. He’d been sure that Louis hadn’t noticed, had assumed it was part of the cake presentation, but maybe he’d been wrong. The words he’d wanted to say though, they’d been lost in in the song, taken away from him and Liam didn’t have a way to get them back. He shook his head slowly. “Just happy birthday, Lou.” 

Louis didn’t look like he bought it. For an instant it looked like he doubted that was what Liam had meant to say, but Liam kept his face passive and eventually Louis let it go and smiled brightly at him. “Thanks, Li.” 

\------

A few hours and at least another bottle of wine (maybe two?) later, Harry was snoring on the couch and both Liam’s parents and Harriet had been tucked into bed. Liam had tried to let Harry and Louis go home when Harry and Harriet fell asleep in a pile on the couch, but Louis had insisted on staying when Liam explained that he still was just planning on wrapping the last of Santa presents by himself. They’d argued about it in quiet whispers, so much that Liam hadn’t realized that Louis had followed him upstairs to tuck Harriet in until Louis was there, pulling up the blankets around his daughter after Liam had put the sleeping girl in the bed. It was an adorable and familiar sight, like Louis was so good at such a little thing, like it was second nature when Harriet wasn’t even his. Liam was struck with that urge to keep Louis again, hold him close and never let him leave. 

He’d lost the argument after that. 

Now Louis was the only one still awake, concentrating hard enough to flush his cheeks, eyes narrowed, tongue pulled between his teeth as he tried to tape down wrapping paper as neatly as possible. Liam stopped what he was working on, just to watch, his mind planning things that he never intended it to. Moments like this forever, finishing up wrapping presents, best friends snoozing nearby, together. His little fantasy world included Zayn and Niall as well and it felt too perfect to even imagine. It reminded him of the scene in a snowglobe, perfectly encased in a perfect winter, not real, but a lovely imagination of real. Only in this case, Liam could almost feel it. It didn’t feel like something that would be separated from him by glass and fake snow, but right there, knees close enough to be touching. Maybe it was the wine, maybe the way the low lights made everything about Louis sharper instead of shadowed, but it felt like it was right there, within reach. 

As Louis finished wrapping his box Liam couldn’t stop himself from reaching out across the space between them to take Louis’ hand in his, twining their fingers together. Louis went with it at first, not looking up from what he’s doing like he was used to it, but Liam guessed maybe he was after spending his days with five year olds. After a moment though Louis looked at his hand then up at Liam, questions in his eyes. “Li?” 

Liam opened his mouth to answer, but before he could Harry shuffled on the couch, rolling over and groaning. “Lou...is it Christmas yet?” 

Louis pulled his hand away from Liam’s, leaning to look at Liam’s watch and nodding. “Sure is, Haz,” he said, handing Liam the box he’d wrapped then getting up and starting to dust himself off and heading to his roommate. 

“It’s no longer your birthday,” Harry said, voice sad, but Louis just laughed and tugged at his shoulder.

“It’s not. But it’s Birthday Boxing Day, which means we need to go and get out of Liam’s hair. You can’t sleep on his mum’s couch.” 

“Leeyum.” Harry’s eyes blinked open and he smiled at Liam who was still stuck on the floor, watching the two of them and wondering what might have happened if Harry hadn’t woken up so quickly. “Did you give it to him?” Harry’s head turned to look at Louis who blushed and shook his head.

“Hush, Harry. We’re going.” 

“You said you were going to give it to him.” 

“Hazza. Shut up. You’re drunk and tired and I’m taking you home.” 

Liam wondered what it was Harry was talking about, but managed to get up at that, putting the last of the boxes under the tree then moving to grab coats and boots for everyone. “Thanks for coming. It was nice having you here.” 

Harry detached himself from Louis, wrapping Liam up in his arms and holding him close. Liam patted his back lightly as Louis pulled on his coat and shook his head, obviously amused by Liam’s reaction to Harry’s forwardness. “Happy Christmas, Liam,” Harry mumbled into his neck before letting go and taking his coat from Louis, pulling it on as he let himself out of the house, leaving Louis and Liam alone. 

Just looking at Louis made Liam feel like the perfect little scene was back in the snow globe. Or maybe it was more like the scenes the little match girl saw in the flames before she died. Maybe that was Liam’s fate, watching chances and moments of Louis as more than Harriet’s teacher flicker to light then fade away in the slightest breeze or burn out before they had a chance to spark a proper fire. 

“Lou, I…” 

Louis shook his head, cutting Liam off before reaching for his hand and squeezing it lightly then leaning in slowly, tilting his head up enough to kiss Liam’s cheek. “Happy Christmas, Liam,” he whispered before pulling away and ducking out the door not giving Liam a chance to say anything in return.


	3. Chapter 3

“That’s new,” Zayn said, leaning over the largest collection of crayons ever made, his gift to Harriet for Christmas, and tugging at the chain and little medal around Liam’s neck. 

It was Harriet that had found the tiny box, buried beneath other presents under the tree with Liam’s name on it, but no one recognized it and the paper didn’t match the rest of the gifts under the tree. He’d not been sure what to make of the St. Louis medal tucked inside it, not even with the printed card inside that said St. Louis was the patron saint of parenthood. There was a short note scrawled at the bottom, but it didn’t explain things any further. _I couldn’t resist!!_

Liam wasn’t even sure why he’d put it on immediately, but he didn’t feel like there was another option. “Yeah, gift.” 

Zayn turned it over, looking at it again, squinting to see the words. “Last I checked you weren’t religious.” He looked up at Liam, one eyebrow raised. “Or is St. Louis supposed to be as cheeky as it seems.” His voice was lower, aware that Harriet was next to him coloring in one of the nineteen books that went with the crayons. Apparently Zayn had it in his mind to make Harriet an artist, which was fine enough, but Liam was pretty sure he was going to spend the next year finding each one of the thousand crayons hidden in places that crayons do not belong.

“I haven’t the slightest idea,” Liam said, leaning back enough that Zayn had to let go of the charm and Liam could tuck it under his shirt. “I thought maybe, then I think no. He’s just being silly. Though it all seems like too much.” Liam hadn’t told Zayn about the kiss or the brief instance of hand holding from Christmas Eve, but not because he hadn’t wanted to. He had. The instant Zayn had shown up for brunch on Boxing Day he’d wanted to, but he wasn’t sure what to say. Everything that had happened could be blamed on wine and Christmas cheer and silly jokes. How was he supposed to talk about that without it sounding like Liam had read far too into things that weren’t there? The last thing he wanted was for Zayn to poke holes in the perfect little theory he had that maybe Louis could enjoy his company beyond field trips, snack days, and drop offs and pick ups. Zayn would do it gently, of course, but Liam was still so caught up in the _want_ he had for Louis that had managed to span much further than wanting to kiss him hard or push him up against things and do worse things to him. It had expanded into wanting Louis in his life, not just his bed, and Liam wasn’t ready to have that ripped away. He didn’t think he could stand for it to be ripped away. 

Zayn hummed a little, then leaned back, shrugging. “Seems like it means something. And if it’s not a faith thing…” 

There was a hopeful edge to Zayn’s voice and Liam hated it almost as much as he would have hated Zayn being skeptical. He didn’t want to be hopeful. He wanted to laugh and not think about it and then spend the rest of Hattie’s winter break forgetting why Louis was worth being hopeful about. “It’s not. It’s probably just cheeky.” 

“But you’re wearing it.” 

Liam was quiet, looking at his hands before he nodded. Zayn had him there. The note in the box hadn’t even been signed and Liam hadn’t waited two seconds to put the stupid thing on. “Yeah. Yeah, I am.” He didn’t look up for fear that Zayn would have on his best pitying look and Liam couldn’t face that. After a moment Zayn wrapped his arms around Liam, head on his shoulder and Liam knew what he was thinking was obvious. He was obvious. Louis was probably thinking the same thing while he spent Boxing Day with Harry laughing at how ridiculous Liam was. 

“When’s Niall getting back?” Liam was desperate to change the subject from Louis and without a doubt Niall was the only subject Zayn would probably be too eager to talk to than to keep Liam on point about Louis. 

“Two more days. It was all the vacation time he had and he told me he couldn’t not spend it on his family.” Zayn sounded sad even though Liam knew he didn’t want to. “I was hoping he’d be able to come up with me today, but no such luck.” 

“It’s okay to miss him, you know,” Liam pointed out as gently as he could. 

 

“Just like it’s okay for you to like him.” 

Liam sighed, fingers brushing over where the medal was under his shirt. “I don’t want to.” 

“Neither do I.” 

They didn’t speak for what felt like ages, but in reality was only a few minutes of Harriet humming to herself, something that sounded like a medley of all the Frozen songs in one. “We’re a right mess, aren’t we?” Liam finally whispered, feeling Zayn nod against his shoulder. “You have to tell him,” he added, which was enough for Zayn to pick his head up and look at Liam, eyes narrowed as if he’d just betrayed the trust of the pact they’d made around being messes. 

“I could say the same about you.” 

“I have circumstances that make telling difficult,” Liam countered, waving towards Harriet and hoping she wasn’t listening. She didn’t seem to be, but it didn’t stop Liam from getting up under the pretense of putting on a kettle for tea. 

“So do I!” Zayn was slower to get to his feet, but still trailed after Liam into his parents’ kitchen. 

“Like what? You live with yours. You’re practically with him. You just have to tell him you only want to be with him and want him to only be with you. He’s not blind! He knows!” 

“It could ruin everything!” 

“It could ruin nothing beyond his chances of dating Emma Watson. Even then maybe not because I feel like everyone should deserve a pass for Emma Watson.” Liam filled the kettle then set it on the stove. His parents still had an old fashioned one, despite having been given the electric kind like Liam had for Christmas four years ago. 

“What about you? What’s yours going to ruin?” 

“Harriet’s education.” 

Zayn raised a skeptical eye, obviously not buying that. “Why? Because her second dad is a teacher? Honestly I think that would raise her education because she’d get learning both at home and at school.” 

“How the hell did you wind up on second dad? That’s at least nine steps ahead of just wanting to kiss him.” 

“Because I know you. A few months ago? You were lusting. Now? You’ve moved into full on pining. You’re just as bad off as I am.” 

Zayn was using more words than Liam had heard him use in years, probably not since Liam’s divorce when he was depressed over his ex and Zayn had shown up at his place and lectured him on snapping out of it. It was enough to make Liam fidget, going for mugs and tea bags just to avoid eye contact. 

“Even if I am. He’s not. I’d rather wait for it to go away then try and have it all taken away. I don’t want to get my heart broken again.” Liam hated the way his voice sounded, thready like he might cry and needy because for the past forty-eight hours all he’d been able to think about was Louis and how badly he wanted him invading every inch of Liam’s life. 

Just as Liam’s hand started to shake Zayn was there, the best friend anyone could ever have with his arms around Liam’s middle, cheek pressed against his shoulder, nodding slowly. “It’ll be fine. If that’s what you want, it’ll be fine. We’ll help.” 

Liam squeezed Zayn’s arm, reassuring. “You should tell him at New Year’s. Make it a resolution or just kiss him at midnight.” 

Zayn didn’t answer, but eventually he nodded against Liam’s shoulder blade. He would have rather Zayn say it out loud, but he guessed that if Zayn was nodding, he was at least considering it. He just hoped it worked better for his friends than it would for him. 

\------------

Zayn didn’t get a chance to make his move on New Year’s Day, but that wasn’t because he didn’t try. It was entirely Liam’s fault, but Zayn waved off any apologies that Liam might have had. It would figure that Harriet and Liam’s father would both come down with the flu right around the new year and, because Zayn was the best friend ever, he stuck around to help Liam around the house while Liam took care of his daughter. The fever, sniffles, and upset stomachs were tearing Liam apart for fear of Harriet’s life, but thankfully his best friend was there to help with dishes and run to the store as well as to reassure Liam that it was just a bug and Harriet would get better. 

By the time school started up again, Harriet had been given a clean bill of health from the doctor, but when Liam tried to drag himself out of bed to get her ready in the morning the first day back, he didn’t make it any further than the bathroom. Harriet must have heard him because she’d pulled Zayn from his bed on the couch to see the state that her father was in. 

Zayn leaned against the doorway of the bathroom, not daring to get closer. “I told you hand sanitizer and vitamin C, but you ignored me,” the darker skinned man lectured from where he stood. 

“Can you handle getting her ready for school?” Liam asked, voice weaker than he wanted it to be and leaving him completely incapable of putting up a fight. Zayn was right. Liam had completely neglected taking care of himself in lieu of taking care of Harriet and now he was suffering the consequences. 

“We’ve got school covered. Let me change the sheets on your bed, then back in it for you.” Zayn pushed Harriet off back towards her room with instructions go get dressed and then left Liam alone, trying to sort out how to get up from where he was, get slightly cleaned off and get back in bed. It was nice despite how terrible he felt, hearing the bustle going on outside his bathroom, Zayn giving instructions to Harriet and moving around his room like he belonged there. It was a shame he couldn’t convince Zayn to move in with them. It would definitely help with how lonely Liam felt in everything. While he didn’t fault single parents, being one himself and knowing full well that was often the best solution, having another adult in his house, taking care of things, made him realize how much better it could be with two parents. Maybe he could be extra pathetic and convince Zayn to move in. He’d probably bring Niall, which may or may not be extra help, but it would be nice. 

Of course, if Zayn brought Niall that wouldn’t really solve Liam’s lonely problem. It would just mean he’d have his friends, sickeningly in love, to be jealous of. 

Maybe it wasn’t his best idea. 

Liam was too sick to stop his mind from wandering, to reel in the thoughts he’d been fighting for the past week and, without any effort whatsoever, all of his focus landed on Louis. He managed to make it out of the bathroom, dropping face first on clean cool sheets and burying his face into the pillow. Louis, who would probably know just what to do with sick kids and boyfriends because he’d taken care of his younger siblings. Louis, who looked like he was all laughs and flashy clothes, but Liam had seen him with the children in his class, giving them all his attention, tending to whatever need or concern they had in that moment. 

In his sickly stupor, Liam imagined it was Louis bumping around his house, probably louder than Zayn, calling out to Harriet to be ready, singing while he got ready himself. He’d do drop off and pick ups since they were headed to the same place, but Louis didn’t seem like the kind of person that would leave without goodbye kisses, even if Liam was sick like he was now or just not up for his day yet. It made it his stomach twist, but not the same way as the flu had. This was something deeper, more eager, and it was killing Liam to not have it. 

Eventually sleep took over and kept Liam in and out of its blissful hold for the rest of the day. He vaguely remembered being woken up to take medicine administered from Zayn. He was lost in dreams that felt real and pretend, only roused from one by cool fingers pressed against his forehead. “Lou?” 

The laugh that came wasn’t the one Liam had been expected, though comforting nonetheless. “No mate. Just me.” Zayn smiled at Liam when he blinked his eyes open. “Brought you tea. And more medicine. And Harriet brought this home from school today.” 

Liam pushed up on one shoulder, feeling too terrible to be embarrassed by what he’d said and took the mug and medicine from Zayn before looking at the sparkly blue card in his hand that was still shedding glitter all over the duvet. “Someone was not expecting me at school today and seemed like he was looking forward to seeing you,” Zayn said as he cleared away the empty glasses on the nightstand. The card had his daughter’s writing scribbled across the front, blocky letters that said get well soon, then a picture of something (he’d have to ask her later) and glitter all around the edges. Inside was a another picture, this one more discernibly him- Liam had figured out what his daughter drew his hair as and was able to recognize it by that- and her with a big ‘I love you daddy’ added in the middle. 

“This is sweet,” Liam said before his eyes caught the extra note at the bottom in far better handwriting and much smaller. It wasn’t much, just _feel better soon - xxLou_ in Louis’ neat handwriting, but he wasn’t at all sure what to make of it. “What’s...did he say something?” 

Zayn shrugged. “Just asked about you when I dropped her off and looked panicked when I said you were sick. I think he was half a step from demanding to know how qualified I was to take care of you. I’m surprised he didn’t follow us home. He looked like he wanted to.” 

“He did not.”

Zayn just shrugged again slumped against the pillows. “Get some rest. Hattie and I are going to order a pizza and watch scary movies.” 

“Don’t you dare…” 

“I’m kidding. Pizza and Frozen. Everything’s fine. Rest so you can go see your boyfriend faster.” 

Liam wanted to grumble something at Zayn, but Zayn had already left the room. He ran his fingers over the writing, wondering if it meant something more than just well wishes. 

\-----

It was selfish and stupid and Liam was sure it didn’t mean a damn thing, but seeing Louis’ face light up when he showed up for drop off the first day after getting better was almost worth being sick. The brunette was smiling that stupidly blinding smile, greeting Harriet before looking up at Liam, biting at his lip just a touch. “Back to the land of the living then?” he asked, voice teasing, but felt like there was something under it, maybe even something in his eyes. That or Liam was imagining it because he wanted it so badly. 

“Apparently. I had to. Zayn was running out of take out options to feed Hattie. She’s convinced pizza’s suitable for breakfast.” 

Louis looked appalled, hand on his chest and everything in a way that was killing Liam slowly. “It’s not?” 

Liam rolled his eyes and laughed shaking his head. “Not for little girls. Single dads and primary teachers maybe.” He almost winked, thought about it even, but Louis’ eyes had dropped from his face to his chest. They’d gone wide, his smile gone and replaced by a much smaller, confused look. Instinctively Liam looked down, wondering if he’d spilled tea on himself again, but realized immediately what Louis was looking at. The medal, which he had hadn’t taken off since he’d put it on, wasn’t safely under his shirt where it belonged, but laying flat against the white shirt he was wearing, completely visible.

Louis seemed at a loss for words, one hand going out towards it, but stopping inches short and balling into a fist. The look shifted away too, to a simple smile that didn’t make it to his eyes. “You’re loitering again, Mr. Payne,” he teased gently, but it felt a little hollow. 

Liam was at a completely loss for what he missed, unconsciously pressing his hand over the medal, trying to cover it up. He shouldn’t have worn it. It was just a joke and now he looked like a complete sap that couldn’t get a joke. “Sorry,” he mumbled not at all sure if he was apologizing for wearing the medal or loitering in Louis’ class, turning quickly and making a dash for the door. He thought he saw a flash of a frown on Louis’ face but he ignored it. That was just in his head.

\--------

It was less than three days after Zayn went back to London that Liam got the text. It wasn’t much, just two tangled pairs of socked feet on Zayn and Niall’s couch, something on the television past them and the word _finally_ under it. 

Liam guessed there was a good story, something about how when Zayn told Niall he’d laughed and pointed out that he thought they’d been together for ages, or he’d just been waiting for Zayn to say something. Or maybe Niall hadn’t realized it, but he did when it was laid out in front of him and he’d reassured his best friend that there wasn’t anyone else for him. 

Whatever it was, Liam didn’t ask. He texted back his congratulations, but when Zayn asked him about Louis he turned his phone off.


	4. Chapter 4

Things changed after that. Liam didn’t go any farther than the door or the hallway when he dropped Harriet off and he usually just focused on her when he picked her up in the afternoons. He could sense Louis attempting to catch his eye, but Liam fought against his wants and used his daughter as an excuse to make it easier. It was better that way. Eventually he’d get over the crush. Or the school year would end and Harriet would be with another teacher next year. 

Of course, Liam still hadn’t taken the medal off. That probably meant he wasn’t making any real steps towards getting over the crush, but Liam mentally shoved all thoughts along those lines away.

While he wasn’t proud of it and definitely didn’t feel any better for it, Liam avoided Louis the best he possibly could. He managed it pretty effectively though and had gone close to three weeks without making eye contact with Louis once or awkwardly bumping into him places. Sure, it meant he avoided the pub even when his father offered to go while Liam’s mother watched Harriet just to get out of his house. Sure, it meant he ran all his errands over his lunch break when he knew Louis was teaching. It wasn’t his proudest moment, but it kept Louis out of his line of sight and eventually that had to help. It had to. 

Only so far it wasn’t. Liam didn’t feel any better. Actually he felt worse, like a giant thing was missing from his life. Like a painful cold gap in his chest had settled in from not getting that daily dose of Louis’ smile or the warmth that came with having a crush and seeing him or her regularly. He hadn’t had that feeling in ages and once it was there he’d started getting used to it and now he’d forcibly taking it away from himself and it was downright painful. It might be stupid, trying to be rid of Louis voluntarily, but Liam was clinging to the hope that he’d get over it. That it wasn’t as big of a deal as he knew full well it actually was. It was a huge deal and pretending it wasn’t didn’t seem to be getting him anywhere. It hadn’t stopped him from trying or let him break down and just let that warmth back into his life, but if Liam knew anything about himself it was his ability to grit his teeth and keep his head down and stick it out through something even if that something had no end in sight.

It wasn’t just that he hadn’t been interested in anyone, really interested, since he’d gotten divorced. Yes, that was huge, that he finally had someone he wanted to go out with, wanted to date, rather than the string of potential significant others he’d gone out with here and there because someone set him up or someone asked, or because he found himself accidentally in a situation where he had to ask because it was the only option. They’d all been reasonably nice people, all good looking, but Liam hadn’t felt that draw and hadn’t let anything get past a first date. Louis he hadn’t even gone out with, but Liam knew he wanted to. It was all made worse by the fact that it was _Louis_. Louis with his bright eyes and warm smile. Louis who had enough personality to lord over seventeen five year olds without batting an eye. Louis with his jokes, bright colors, and general charisma that Liam couldn’t help but be drawn to, wanting that in his life. Louis who could make all of the sad and lonely bits of Liam’s life disappear. Louis who could reassure Liam when he doubts himself at every other corner. 

Comparatively though, Liam wasn’t sure what he had to offer. He loved his life, he loved his daughter and yes the broken and winding road he took to get there was littered with less than happy memories or fears and doubts, but it was all Liam had and for him he’d made it enough. Only, there wasn’t anything to give to someone else. Not someone like Louis at least who deserved better than a hot mess of a single father that relied on his own mum too much to help him through the worst of it, or just flailed along and hoped for the best and that when his daughter started therapy at sixteen she didn’t say just terrible things about him. Louis deserved a real life, something exciting and interesting and not just the basic boring domestic structure that Liam had built up in his to keep things from falling apart. Yes, adding Louis to the mix would do nothing but add color to Liam’s world, but would he be dulling the colors in Louis’. Probably. 

He’d gotten ahead of himself, reading too much into situations that weren’t anywhere beyond his imagination. Louis deserved better than Liam and Liam hadn’t even had a snowball’s chance in hell of making it work or scoring that kind of bloke. Nope, Louis was well out of his league and, as much as it hurt to pretend that those fleeting moments he’d hung his heart on had been made up in his head, Liam didn’t think there was another way he could handle it. It wasn’t meant to be. Liam already had his happy ending with his adorable daughter and that would have to be enough. 

He was sticking to that thought when he took Harriet’s to his parents for Sunday dinner, like he did every Sunday after three weeks of avoiding Louis. He and his daughter were singing, though she kept poking him, telling him he didn’t sound like he normally did, and Liam guessed his lack of enthusiasm was obvious even to Harriet. “Oh good you’re here,” his mother greeted him. “How do you feel about making cookies, Hattie?” 

Hattie jumped up and cheered, shucking her coat, mittens and hat as quickly as she could. “Cookies sound fun,” Liam said, surprised that that was a thing on a random Sunday in January. 

“Not you,” his mother corrected and before he could notice him, Harriet spotted Harry over her shoulder. 

“Harry!” 

“Little Harry!” 

Harriet bounded towards him and Mrs. Payne just barely got the mug out of his hand before Harry scooped Liam’s daughter up and bopped her nose. Liam felt like he’d missed something. 

“What’s he doing here?” Liam asked, but his mother just handed him the warm mug of tea. 

“Take that into the living room for me, yeah? I’ll bring you yours in a minute.” Harry had already left with Harriet and Liam could hear them singing in the kitchen, picking up where Liam had left off in the song. 

“If this isn’t mine…” Liam turned towards the living room still trying to process why Harry was over for Sunday dinner when he walked in, stopping short somewhere near the doorway. He’d been expecting his father, he supposed, waiting on his tea and watching football on the telly, but he’d been wrong. 

Instead of his father in his recliner, Louis was sitting on the couch, television on, but muted. Not that it mattered. He wasn’t looking at it. He must have heard them come in because he was staring at Liam, fingers twisted together as if he was trying to keep from fidgeting. “Hey,” he said so softly Liam wasn’t sure if he heard him or not. 

“Is this yours?” Liam asked, holding out the mug, not sure what else to say because for some reason Louis Tomlinson, Trousers, was sitting on his parents’ couch, in jeans and a baseball t-shirt, hair swept up and out of his bright blue eyes. Everything else that was running through Liam’s mind sounded a lot like the static between radio stations. 

“Um yes,” Louis held his hand out then got up, moving closer to take the mug from Liam when Liam’s feet refused to move him closer. The smaller man turned the mug around in his hands, not sipping at it yet, just letting it warm his fingers. “Your mum...well your mum and Harry. They thought we could…” 

He stopped mid-sentence like he didn’t like that approach to the conversation. Liam watched him take a deep breath, which reminded Liam that he should breathe himself though he was pretty sure his was shakier than Louis’. “You doing okay?” Louis asked instead. 

What stupid kind of question was that? Liam was still close enough to the hallway to hear Harry and Harriet singing and instantly he wanted to be back there. Only he wasn’t allowed. His eyes landed on Louis again and he realized why. “Is this some sort of set up?” he asked, voice angrier than he meant it to be, but it was hard to avoid when his cheeks were heating up in an embarrassed flush. He pushed past Louis, moving deeper into the room and trying to put space between them. 

“No, Li…” Liam looked back a Louis and his glare must have been as sharp as it felt because Louis flinched. “Fine, yes. But not like you’re thinking. Your mum and Harry, they’re nosy. And Harry said I was being... And he talked to your mum and here we are.” He looked down at the mug in his hands, voice going quieter. “I can leave. If you don’t want to see me. I told them it wouldn’t work. That you don’t…” 

“That I don’t what?” 

Louis sipped at his tea and Liam was sure he was stalling, but he didn’t call him out on it. He had a feeling if he pushed harder Louis would bolt and he’d be left where he started because hope was already starting to creep in. Hope that Louis would tell him he was wrong, that everything had meant exactly what he’d thought it meant and that he liked Liam even some of how much Liam liked Louis. It was the same kind of hope that would leave Liam in a heap if Louis bolted now. 

“That you don’t care. That you don’t...Still feel like I wanted you to feel.” Louis huffed out a laugh with no humor behind it. “I knew it. The moment you left. I pushed too hard and then I panicked and then you were gone.” He looked at the mug in his hands then set it down on the coffee table as gently as possible. “I’m going to go. Tell your mum thank you.” 

Liam had his arm around Louis’ bicep before he even realized he’d moved. Louis looked down at the hand then up at Liam, one eyebrow raised curiously. It took a moment for him to speak because it took a moment for Liam’s brain to catch up to his body. “How...how did you want me to feel?” 

Louis looked away for a moment, visibly composing himself before looking back at Liam. There were walls up, Liam could see that. Louis was hiding behind something and it made Liam want to pull him closer. “Like this was something more than just a parent-teacher thing,” Louis admitted, voice steely, as if braced for impact. 

“It is. Or it’s not.” Liam frowned, then looked down at his hand on Louis’ arm, trying to get his words in the right order. “It wasn’t. It isn’t. Just a parent and teacher thing. It hasn’t been for a long time.” 

Louis stared back at him, some of the walls seeming to slide out of place as his eyes brightened. “No? So I didn’t scare you off?” 

Liam shook his head, running his thumb over Louis’ arm, easing the grip to something gentler. “No, that was me. I thought…” His hand went to his chest where the medal hung under his shirt. 

Louis reached forward, tracing the line of the necklace under Liam’s shirt where Liam’s hand had landed. “You still have it.” 

“You thought I’d get rid of it?” 

“You were doing a good job of avoiding me.” 

“Avoiding you. Not forgetting about you. You’re impossible to forget.” 

“Usually that’s not said so fondly,” Louis said as he looked up, smile hinting at the corners of his mouth like he was trying to keep it in check. 

“So I was supposed to wear it?” 

“No. God no. It was stupid. I loved it for you, loved the idea of it, and I felt like the universe was handing me a bloody sign, but it was stupid. I just desperately wanted to get you something _sweet_ and that seemed safe because if you didn’t...if you weren’t interested in sweet or...us then we could laugh about it and I could just pretend it was all a joke..” Louis pulled his hand away and Liam pulled the chain from under his shirt, looking down at it. 

“I don’t know. I liked it. It didn’t feel safe.” 

Louis’ eyes were trained on the medal, fingers reaching out to hook in the chain and pull Liam half a step closer. “Somehow both nothing and everything about you feels safe, Li.” 

It was enough to make Liam smile, nodding at Louis. “I think I can work with that.” 

Louis smiled, something softer, but so genuine it made Liam’s teeth hurt. “Fair enough then. I suppose that means I can ask you to some sort of outing that isn’t quite parent-teacher then, right?” He wasn’t looking at Liam, but brushing fingers idly over the medal. It shouldn’t have made Liam smile more, but it did. 

‘You could. Question, I think, is if you will.” 

“Should have known you’d be a stickler for proper grammar and all that nonsense.” 

“You’re the teacher.” 

“I teach five year olds. We’re still working on not messing up zebras and tigers because they both have stripes.” 

“You have stripes.” Liam regretted it instantly, but he was thinking of the few striped shirts he’d seen Louis wear. Apparently his brain to mouth filter didn’t work properly when Louis was brushing his fingers over Liam’s chest. 

Thankfully Louis just laughed and nodded. “And they change depending on the day if it’s my zebra shirt or tiger shirt.” He smiled up at Liam. “What do you say? Could we go out sometime? Do something that doesn’t involve my job? Besides tonight, obviously. I think your mum plans on us staying for dinner.” 

“She does. Even if she hasn’t mentioned it, she does.” That was just how Liam’s mother was. He nodded again though, smiling so big it hurt. “I say yes. I’d love to go out with you.” He closed his fingers around Louis’, holding the other man’s hand against his chest. 

“Good. Then we’ll do that. Soon.” Louis smiled at their hands intertwined, then looked at Liam and Liam could have sworn his eyes were drifting lower towards his mouth. 

“Finally,” Harry let out in the midst of a clearly exasperated sigh. “He’s been moping for days and Louis Tomlinson is even more intolerable when he’s moping than he is when he’s pining.” 

Liam felt his cheeks go warm, but Louis rolled his eyes. “Shut up, Haz.” 

“Pining?” It wasn’t at all the question that Liam meant to ask, but it came out nonetheless in a short little burst, something quiet and barely there. 

“I never said that,” Louis replied, but there was an edge of a tease in his voice and Liam realized he was making fun of him because of Liam’s of using the same phrase. It was enough to get another grin out of Liam. 

“Alright, you two are gross. So stop all the gushy stuff and get your arses in the dining room. Time for dinner.” Harry was trying to sound exasperated still, but he was grinning too brightly for it, seemingly as pleased as Liam was with the apology. 

“Alright, alright. C’mon Lou.” Liam kept his hand in Louis’, trying not to get carried away with thinking this was the best Sunday dinner ever. 

\---------

Coffee, it seemed, was probably not the best plan for their first date. Louis got stuck in a football practice that ran late and was flushed and hurried by the time he made it to the cafe, hair damp and not styled and, from the way he kept pushing at it, was annoying him half to death. Liam wasn’t doing much better, wearing a shirt with coffee already on it from where he’d almost dropped his cup on himself and with Harriet in tow because his mother had a last minute appointment she had to make and Liam didn’t have anyone else to give her to. 

“I am so sorry,” Liam apologized for what felt like the hundredth time since Louis had sat down two minutes earlier, cup of something chocolatey and barely coffee in his hands. 

“Stop apologizing, Liam. It’s fine. We’re fine. Drink your coffee and try not to spill it on yourself again, yeah?” Louis was smiling, more amused than actual teasing, but Liam felt his cheeks heat up as he look down at his shirt again. The coffee had been hot too so he guessed the soreness under the brown stain was a burn to go with it. Not bad, but enough that his skin itched in a bad way rather than the good way it did when Louis’ knee bumped against his. 

“Daddy,” Harriet interrupted, not looking up from her coloring. “Do they have swimming pools in space?” 

“What?” Liam wasn’t at all sure why she was asking, turning in his chair to determine what coloring book she was working on and see if that would explain why she was worried about swimming while in space. Sadly, the Avengers didn’t clue him into anything other than the fact that Thor might look better as a brunette as his daughter colored in his hair brown instead of blonde. 

“In space, Daddy. Swimming pools.” She looked up at him then with this precious and petulant little expectant look, like he had all the answers and he melted a little minor annoyance at her interruption forgotten. 

“Um, no, I don’t think so.” 

“Well, you don’t know for sure now, do you? Aliens might have swimming pools. I’m sure Dr. Who came across a swimming pool at some point,” Louis chimed in, not to be forgotten. 

“Last I checked Dr. Who wasn’t real,” Liam countered. “Aren’t you supposed to be the teacher?

“I am, but I’m not about to rule out the possibility of a time lord existing or life on other planets. Stifling that sort of scientific curiosity is actually the opposite of what I’m supposed to do as a teacher.” 

“Please tell me you’re joking.” 

“Do I ever joke about your daughter’s education, Liam?” Louis’ tone was toeing the line between mocking and serious so well that Liam couldn’t tell which it was and felt his cheeks go warm again. 

“Daddy, you’re blushing again.” This time Harriet poked his arm with her crayon. 

Liam sputtered, shaking his head and tapping her coloring book. “I thought you were working on something?” he asked, getting a look back from her that made her look much older than five and he wondered what he’d done in his life to deserve even his own daughter not being on his side of things. It didn’t help that Louis was trying and failing to hide his laugh behind his coffee cup.

“It’s okay. The blushing suits you.” 

“Shut up.” Liam felt his cheeks heat up even more, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck and half glancing at Louis in a way that he hoped was coy but came out more like bashful. 

“Liam!” 

His head shot up, mouth falling open at the sight of his parent’s neighbor in front of him. “Um, hey.” 

“How good to see you! And you too, Miss Hattie.” Harriet beamed up at the woman, greeting her politely like she’d been taught before Mrs. Hastings turned to Louis. “I don’t believe we’ve met.” Liam just barely managed not to groan and roll his eyes. He wasn’t like that, he wasn’t rude, but it was like this woman was determined to linger and not move along. 

Liam was also fairly certain most of his parents’ acquaintances weren’t caught up on his sexuality, not that anyone would listen anyway considering he had a daughter that they all knew about. He cleared his throat gesturing towards Louis. “This is Louis. He’s…” Liam fumbled for what to call Louis considering he wasn’t much of anything at the moment beyond Liam’s friend, but even that was up for debate, and Liam was pretty sure he’d wind up putting the emphasis on friend the same way his mother had on roommate when she thought Louis was with Harry. The only saving grace in the whole moment was that Louis looked at as much of a loss as Liam was.

“He’s my Year 1 teacher,” Harriet provided for everyone, tone indicating that she was very proud of being able to answer correctly. 

Mrs. Hastings just raised an eyebrow at Liam who was sure he was flushing again. “Sort of a parent teacher conference type thing then, yes?” she asked, like she was teeing Liam up for a softball (which was a sport Liam absolutely failed at in school and had no idea why Americans liked it so much when it was so dull). 

“I...something like that.” 

“But everything’s fine,” Louis added, like that needed to be stated. “Hattie’s a great student. Aren’t you, love?” Liam was pretty sure he was going to die over the pet name just like he almost had the first time he’d heard Louis use it and the way Harriet smiled back as proud as ever. 

“Well good. Not that we’d expect anything less. Tell your mum I say hi, yeah?” Liam had a guess that Mrs. Hastings would see his mother before he did, considering she lived down the street from her, but he just nodded. 

“Sure thing. Good to see see you.” 

“Good to see you too, Liam. It’s nice that you’re out and not wallowing. We were all rather worried, dear.” The older woman smiled at Louis who just echoed back with a bright grin that looked completely genuine, but Liam caught the way it didn’t quite flood his eyes. “Nice to meet you as well, Louis,” she said carefully, like being too friendly might make Louis stay. That had Liam wondering if she did know about his interests, but was gently attempting to steer him elsewhere. 

“Absolute pleasure, ma’am,” Louis said back, voice saccharine sweet and dripping with politeness that just barely carried a hint of mocking. Mrs. Hastings seemed to miss everything but the cue to leave, which she finally did. “Well, that was interesting. I didn’t realize you were wallowing and a hermit case,” Louis said, turning back to smile at Liam. Liam let himself get lost in that smile, the way it crinkled Louis’ eyes at the corners, the way it made his teeth glint against the afternoon sun. Lines from stupid love songs and terrible poetry were just starting to float through his mind when a much louder, higher pitched voice was at their table. 

“Mr. Tommo!” 

Then Louis had an armful of one his students and Harriet was chatting loudly at her classmate and two tired and slightly apologetic parents wandered up holding and infant that was well on her way to sobbing. Louis was up out of his seat before Liam could say hello, helping the mother with her crying infant under the guise of gushing over it and the poor woman and her husband looked so tired they just handed the baby over. 

The baby almost immediately quieted in Louis arms, dropping her head against his shoulder and nuzzling into Louis’ neck and Liam hated himself for being jealous of a _baby_ because just a moment before Liam had had Louis’ undivided attention and now there was an infant cuddling against him and not Liam. There was also an overwhelming feeling of something at the sight of Louis with an even tinier child than he was used to, but the jealousy was currently winning out. Even Harriet had someone to talk to, showing off her coloring books to the little boy from her class that had somehow managed to climb into her chair with her. 

When the father ducked away to get their orders, Liam was terrified that they might invite themselves to sit down and stay. Liam hated himself for thinking it because it was so rude and he wasn’t a rude person, but he wanted them to leave, like now, just like Mrs. Hastings had. He was trying to be on a _date_ and everyone and their actual grandmother was attempting to get involved and at this rate he wasn’t going to get any of Louis’ time. The whole thing made even his thoughts rambling, which wasn’t like him unless he was properly panicking, which meant he was probably well on his way there. 

Why weren’t they leaving yet?

“Look at how beautiful she is, Liam.” Liam’s head snapped up at his name, frown still in place until Louis smiled at him, now sleeping baby curled in his arms fingers fisted in his shirt. “Maybe I shouldn’t let you hold her though, might make you want another one.” Louis winked at him and Liam hated that he loved how domestic it sounded, like they were already a couple contemplating another baby. Would Louis want another baby? He dealt with kids all day he might not want another one at home. Not that it would be an easy feat for the two of them to get a baby and Liam’s mind spun that way for a brief moment before he managed to pull his thoughts back where they belonged and manage a smile for Louis. 

“Oh. Liam. You’re here.” The tired mother whom he didn’t know, seemed to finally notice him and her eyes went back and forth between Louis and Liam before she frowned a little. “We really didn’t mean to interrupt,” she told Louis, though Liam was pretty sure she’d already apologized for interrupting once. He guessed she finally realized that it was more than just Louis’ own Saturday afternoon coffee break she was interrupting. 

“Really, it’s fine,” Liam jumped in, not wanting Louis to see the way this woman’s face fell and have it affect that perfect smile that was just for Liam. “We weren’t...it’s fine.” He was scrambling to his feet, trying hard not to obviously reach for Louis even if everything in him was screaming to. That might not go over well though and the other mother just shook her head reaching for her baby from Louis’ arms.

“No, really. It was rude of us. Come on, Jackson,” she said, arranging her baby in one hand and holding out the other to her son. There were obvious protests about splitting Harriet and Jackson up, Harrie wanting to know why Jackson couldn’t stay and Jackson’s mother trying to explain without explaining what was going on between Louis and Liam. Liam sat down heavy in his chair by the time they’d left, wondering again if it was even allowed for him to see Louis, to be friends with Louis, because no one seemed to approve in the slightest. That their own conversation after it felt stunted, both of them jumping on Harriet’s interruptions like they were afraid to get back into things just to have it disturbed yet again just bothered Liam more. Things had been going so well, there’d been so much promise when they were standing in Liam’s parents’ living room, but now it seemed like more of a lost cause than it had before. 

By the time they were walking home, Liam was so frustrated he could cry, just like snack day all over again, but as always, Louis’ fingers found the inside of his wrist, cool to the touch because he’d forgotten gloves, pressing lightly against the pulse point there. “This was nice,” he murmured, bumping his shoulder against Liam’s and smiling up at him. He wasn’t much shorter Liam realized with him so close, just enough that he’d have to lean up to hook his chin over Liam’s shoulder. 

“It wasn’t. It was supposed to be just us.” Liam kept his voice low so Harriet, who was bouncing along four steps ahead of them, wouldn’t hear. 

“It was.” 

Liam gave Louis a look then gestured towards his daughter as if that said everything. The last thing he expected was for Louis to laugh, head turning into Liam’s shoulder. “I knew you were a dad, Liam. I knew this,” he waved to Harriet and Liam, “this was what I was signing up for.” 

Somehow Liam found his fingers laced with Louis’, the other man’s cheek still pressed against his shoulder. They were obviously together, or looked together at least, and Liam wasn’t at all sure how he’d gotten there, but instantly wondered who would notice. It wasn’t that he was ashamed or anything of the sort, he just wasn’t sure what protocol was for dating his daughter’s teacher. “Still Lou...the idea was…” He took half a step to the side, putting space between them and starting to pull his hand back, only Louis held it tight. 

“The idea was dating you. Which means Harriet,” Louis insisted, guiding him back close again. Liam wondered if he should resist, but really he was powerless when it came to saying no to Louis. Already he was. “Though if you’d rather do this without her, how about I plan our next date as you’re obviously terrible at it.” 

“I am not terrible! You just said!” Louis laughed again and it was enough to quiet Liam into a light grumble. 

“Dinner at my place, maybe? I’ll make sure Harry’s free and he can babysit. Harriet won’t even notice you’re gone, Harry won’t get lonely, and half the town won’t stop to talk to us?” 

Liam let out a sigh and nodded. “That might work better than my plan. And that sounds nice. Wait. Are you cooking? Can you cook?” 

Louis gave Liam a look, but didn’t hold it for too long. “Alright fine, no, I can’t cook, but I can get Harry to make something or I can order something, but you aren’t supposed to ask like that so I can try and at least pretend to impress you by ordering in and hiding the containers before you get there.” 

“Oh, so that’s how it works then, huh?” 

“Yes. Very much.” 

They’d gotten to Liam’s house and Harriet had already bounded through the gate and up the front steps. “Come on, Daddy,” she urged, making a face like she was freezing when Liam knew full well she couldn’t be. He’d made sure she put on fifteen layers just for this. 

“Coming, princess. Just give Daddy a second,” he told her before looking at Louis with a small frown. “I guess this is us.” 

Louis somehow still managed to smile as bright as the sun, which made Liam feel a little better. “I know. It’s okay. I’ll see you soon.” 

Liam nodded, finding himself in the middle of an internal debate on if he could kiss him, if the date had been enough of a date to leave that open or if had been good enough of a date to justify a good afternoon or good evening or whatever it was kiss. Maybe. Then there was the idea of if Louis wanted him to kiss him, but Louis was the one suggesting alternate first dates, which meant he did like Liam. He’d said he liked Liam. Though maybe he should wait until the proper alternate first date to kiss him. 

He was knee deep in debate, leaning in closer, but not quite leaning in to Louis when Harriet piped up again. “Daddy! Can Mr. Tommo come watch Frozen and eat tacos?” 

Sometimes Liam loved his daughter. He looked up at Louis with a smile and a shrug. “What do you say? Frozen sing along and tacos? It’s Taco Movie Night. Very important tradition in our house,” he said in his best serious voice. 

“Very important!” Harriet added for effect. 

Louis looked at both of them then laughed, slipping an arm around Liam’s waist with a nod, and Liam pulled him towards the door and Harriet. “I’d love Frozen tacos, though they might be a bit chilly.” 

“Mr. Tommo. Don’t be silly; the tacos aren’t frozen! The movie is Frozen. Daddy, your boyfriend is silly.” 

Liam’s hand slipped as he tried to put the keys in the lock, banging his knuckles hard against the door. “My what?” 

Harriet looked at Liam, then Louis, then back at Liam. “Your boyfriend. You were holding hands. You only do that with your line buddy and girlfriend or boyfriend.” 

“Daddy’s not…” A thousand responses died in Liam’s throat as he looked at Louis instead of his daughter, who was hiding a laugh behind his hand. 

“He might be,” Louis suggested, shrugging his shoulders, biting at his lip to keep from grinning more. 

It was Liam’s turn to grin, leaning forward to press his forehead against Louis’. “He’d like to,” he said softly. Louis kept his lip bit, but nodded against Liam’s forehead, at least until Harriet stomped her foot. 

“Can we go inside now?” she demanded and Liam rolled his eyes. 

“I didn’t teach her that,” he said before going back to unlocking the door and pushing it open for Harriet. His daughter bounded into the house, already slipping out of her jacket and hanging it up on the hook and pulling off her boots. Louis went to follow her, but Liam caught his arm, pulling him back. “He would, Lou.” 

Louis was grinning again, leaning up close to Liam, hesitating before getting all the way there. “We’ll see,” he teased. “Depends on how good tacos are.” 

Before Liam could react, Louis had pulled back, slipping out of his own jacket and boots, following Harriet’s voice towards the living room with just a glance over his shoulder. Liam had to laugh at himself, but that was it. He was completely fine with everything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise...we're not done yet...


	5. Chapter 5

“He’s changing again, Uncle Zee,” Harriet said into Liam’s phone that she was holding while she sat on his bed, Zayn and Niall on speakerphone. 

“You aren’t supposed to tattle on Daddy,” Liam lectured, tossing the shirt he’d had on away. “Maybe I should just wear the gray jumper.” 

“I thought we’d decided on the button down?” Zayn’s voice sounded tinny from the speakers and Liam ignored the look that his daughter gave him that looked too much like one Zayn would. Zayn was officially banished from the house. 

“Even if you don’t wear the button down, you can’t wear the gray jumper. It’s terrible looking on you,” Niall added. 

“What?” Liam turned to look at the phone, stepping closer. “You said you liked it!” 

“Because you were depressed and it was the first thing you’d put on that wasn’t an old t-shirt with holes in it. Of course I liked it, but now you have real clothes and you should burn it.” 

That made Harriet giggle and Liam just barely managed to keep from glaring at her too. Glaring at his daughter was completely inappropriate. She didn’t actually do anything wrong. “Alright, gray jumper needs to be burned,” he conceded, rolling his eyes at the phone to make Harriet laugh more. 

“Here, this one,” Harriet said, holding up a plain shirt, something loose and light blue. “It’s soft.” It wasn’t the best logic, but it worked for now and Liam took the shirt and pulled it on, turning for Harriet to see. 

“Hold us up so we can see,” Niall crooned on the phone and Harriet tilted it so Liam could see his friends’ face mashed together on the screen. 

“Oh yeah, definitely that one. With the dark blue jacket, yeah?” Zayn suggested and Liam reached around Harriet to find the jacket he meant, pulling it on and looking at his prep team. Finally they all nodded and and he turned to look at himself again. It wasn’t anything fancy, but it would do. There wasn’t much in his wardrobe that would surprise Louis at this point anyway and the doorbell was ringing, which meant there wasn’t time for another option. 

“Harry’s here!” Harriet was already off the bed, taking Zayn and Niall with her and Liam followed after her, pulling his socks on along the way. 

“Make sure you check who it is before you open the door!” he called out, but it was too late. He could already hear Harriet shouting at Harry who was enough of a child at heart that he was answering back with just as much enthusiasm. 

“Harry, say hi to Uncle Zee and Nail,” she insisted, waving the Skype session in front of Harry’s face and likely making everyone involved sick to their stomachs. She still botched Niall’s name, usually when she was excited, but Harry seemed to run with it, waving despite his hands being full of groceries or something. From what Liam could hear as he got closer his friends were responding in kind as if Harry was more than a passing acquaintance. 

“I’ll take that,” Liam told Harriet, plucking the phone from his daughter’s hands and moving to help Harry who ducked out of the way. 

“I got it. You get going. Lou’s already nervously pacing around the flat. Don’t worry about us or staying out too late,” Harry said with a grin, trying to shoo Liam out and getting Harriet to make the same face and noise. Liam could hear his friends laughing on the phone and rolled his eyes at them.

“I’ll text you two later. Be good Hattie, alright?” he asked, shoving his feet into boots and leaning down to kiss his daughter goodbye all the while hanging up on his friends because their laughter had turned into catcalls. “Call me if you need anything,” he reminded Harry who did the shooing motion again and Liam rolled his eyes, grabbing his coat and scarf before heading out into the cold. 

After a quick stop at the corner shop for a bottle of wine (which he bought solely based on the price and the label), it was a short walk to the building Louis and Harry’s flat was in. Louis buzzed him in quickly and Liam had to force himself to slow down and take a deep breath before he actually knocked on the door, wiping his clammy palms on his jeans. He could do this. He knew Louis liked him, he was a grown adult with a daughter and it was just a first date. Once he knocked though Louis swung the door open wide, cheeks a little flushed, eyes bright. “Hey,” Louis breathed, smile taking over his features. 

“Hey,” Liam answered, surprised to find his voice was just breathless. “Brought this,” he added, holding out the bottle of wine. Louis took it, moving away and holding the door open enough for Liam. 

“This looks nice,” Louis said turning the bottle around to read the back label. 

“That’s what I thought. It says something about citrus or something.” 

“What does that even mean anyway?” Louis asked, voice doubting the existence of citrus in red wine and it was enough to calm the worst of Liam’s nerves. 

“I don’t have a clue. I liked the label.” 

Louis looked up at him with a softer, sweeter smile that Liam was starting to think was his favorite of Louis’ smiles. Not that he’d mentally catalogued them. “Sounds like as good a reason as any,” he agreed, shutting the door behind Liam and waving him deeper into the flat. It was a bit of a mess, shoes piled by the door, jackets and scarves near the hooks for them, but not actually on them. There were small piles of things around the living room, magazines, books, DVD cases, old mugs and cups, like someone had tried to clean up but only by stacking things up instead of putting them away. “Harry and I aren’t really clean,” Louis admitted quietly, hand rubbing at the back of his neck while Liam took in the flat. “It’s not like your place you know. Sorry.” 

Liam shook his head before Louis could look more embarrassed than he did. “It’s fine,” he said even if he was itching to pick a few things up. Or at least put the old tea mugs in the sink. “Really. I’m not normal with how clean I am. Zayn and Niall have been telling me that since uni.” 

Louis watched Liam for a moment then laughed, shaking his head. “You do seem a bit odd with everything having a place. Though not everything is labeled yet, so I figure you’re a step above being just downright nuts about it, right?” 

_Or I don’t have a proper labelmaker_ , Liam thought, but kept to himself for the sake of not seeming insane. He figured if he did have one though, he’d have labeled most of the house in the middle of the night. “I just like to keep things neat. So I can find them later.” 

Louis gave him a look but wound up shaking his head and pulling at Liam’s coat. “Take that off and stay. I’ll figure out how to open up this bottle,” he said before heading towards the kitchen. Liam smiled to himself, making quick work for his jacket and scarf, leaving them on the actual hooks, and following after Louis. 

Dinner was already there, set on the small kitchen table, but still in the takeaway Chinese containers. “I was going to cook something,” Louis explained, pulling the cork on the bottle and nodding towards where Liam could find glasses when he asked. “But I set off the fire alarm making tea and toast yesterday and Harry has banned me from using the stove. It would figure, he’s clumsy as hell, but a great cook. And me,” he pulled the cork out with a satisfying ‘pop’. “Me, I know where I end and begin and I can’t seem to master toast.” Louis went to fill Liam’s glass then stopped looking up at him with a pained expression. “I shouldn’t have told you that.” 

Liam frowned. “Why not?” he asked, picking at the containers to see what had been ordered. “It’s a funny story.” 

“No, but it’s not. Not when I’m trying to get you to date me. And I just admitted to almost burning down my kitchen. Hattie’s probably better equipped for cooking that I am and I’m really not making a good first impression.” Louis dropped heavily into the chair across from Liam, which makes their knees knock together under the small table. 

“Hattie’s not allowed to use the stove either, but that’s not important. This isn’t a first impression Lou. I know you already.” 

“Yes, but not like this. _This_ is important.” The older man looked crestfallen, still holding the wine bottle, but now it was in his lap. “I was really trying for perfect.” 

That was enough to get Liam to move, one hand finding Louis’ knee under the table, curling around it, fingers grazing across the back of it. “It is perfect. It’s you. It’s me. We’re not rushing or at school or trying to answer Hattie’s questions about dinosaurs or space. It’s perfect.” 

“You think so?” Louis sounded so hopeful Liam felt it in his chest. 

“Know so.” 

Louis visibly relaxed, shoulders dropping and smile coming back. He hooked his ankle around Liam’s calf under the table and kept it there while they ate. Once they’d both settled and maybe after Liam had had a glass of wine, he found himself relaxing into the meal, relaxing into being with Louis. Conversation came easily, but more than that the silence was comfortable. It wasn’t something Liam expected, but he found that he enjoyed it, Louis close enough to touch, but neither of them feeling nervous enough for the moment that they had to fill the space with pointless chatter. 

When they finished, Liam got up and out of habit took both their plates to the sink. “Think you can toss the empty containers in the bin?” he asked before turning on the water to rinse the plates off. When he looked over his shoulder again Louis was making a face, but slowly gathering the trash to throw away. 

“I shouldn’t let you clean up, but I wasn’t going to bother with it either.” 

Liam had to bite back a grin, shaking his head slightly as if Louis was trying. Maybe he could be, but really, there was too much about him that radiated light and it seemed to make up for the mess. “It’s not like it’s that much work.” 

“It’s a load of work,” Louis countered, making a face. “I _have_ to clean up at school because the kids are supposed to learn to be better than I am. Not that they are, your kid’s the only one that cleans up at this point.” 

“Because I make her clean up.” Liam had taught Harriet from a young age how to keep herself and the area around her tidy and she tended to go just as overboard with it as he did. 

“It makes her a touch odd in an adorable way.” 

“You just called my daughter odd.” Liam set the dishes down in the sink and looked at Louis, though he sounded more amused than annoyed. 

“You live with her. There’s no way you haven’t noticed she’s odd,” Louis said, making his own little face. 

“She’s not that odd. Not anymore than I am.” 

“And I rest my case.” 

“Hey!” Liam reached for Louis then, hooking his fingers in the smaller man’s shirt and dragging him closer. “I’m not odd.” 

Louis laughed, going where he was dragged with only feigned resistance. “You are odd, but it’s an _adorable_ odd. Promise.” 

“So you think I’m adorable now?” Liam slipped his hand around Louis’ lower back, keeping him close, feeling the anticipation of the moment buzz under his skin. 

“I thought you were adorable the first moment I saw you,” Louis corrected, pressing his fingers against Liam’s chest, smiling to himself. “Hair a mess, shirt looking like you’d slept in it, daughter dressed in a Batman shirt. Absolutely adorable.” His voice tapered off as he spoke, dropping to a whisper at the end, as if speaking louder might ruin the moment. 

Liam nodded, free hand coming up to drag his thumb across Louis’ jaw. He watched as Louis leaned into the touch, eyes fluttering shut for the moment. “I thought the same thing about you in those ridiculously adorable bright red trousers.” He’d probably been gone the moment he saw Louis, but it wasn’t until this moment that he realized just what that meant. 

“What’s the protocol on first date kisses if the first date is a redo?” Louis asked, eyes opening again to look at Liam. 

“How so?” 

“Do I have to wait to the end to kiss you or can I just…” Louis leaned in closer and Liam felt that anticipation level ratchet up again. 

“I think now is fine…” His hand slipped to the back of Louis’ neck as Louis nodded, pushing up the last little bit to brush his lips against Liam’s. It was soft and chaste at first, a gentle hesitating kind of touch as if it might not be received well, but then Liam tightened his grip on Louis’ neck, drawing him in closer and Louis in turn deepened the kiss. 

If he was honest, Liam had spent too much time thinking about kissing Louis. At first it had just been an idea, a stupid silly thought, but recently it had been all encompassing, something that took up most of his spare brain space that wasn’t being spent worrying about Harriet or attending to whatever task needed him in that moment. As often as he’d imagined it, as much as he’d wished for it, Liam wasn’t sure he’d ever gotten even close to right. It wasn’t fireworks like they said in songs or movies, but something else. Something less flashy and temporary, but just as bright and hot. Liam got lost in it, feeling something he’d not felt since long before he and his wife had split up. Probably since before they were married. He felt Louis’ hands fist in the hem of Liam’s shirt, knuckles brushing the bare skin beneath it, and he let his own hands sift into Louis’ hair. 

The kiss drew out until Louis pulled back, leaving Liam trying to follow him for more and catch his breath at the same time. He managed a light press of a second kiss before Louis’ anchored his hands on Liam’s hips and pressed their foreheads together forcing both to stop and catch their breath. “It would figure you’d be amazing at that, too,” Louis mumbled against Liam’s lips, shaking his head so slowly it felt more like he was just rolling his forehead along Liam’s. 

“I’m not amazing at anything,” Liam countered feeling his cheeks flush. 

“That’s not even remotely close to true,” Louis said, pulling back but keeping his hands in Liam’s shirt and pulling him away from the kitchen. “You’re amazing looking, this amazing single dad, and amazingly friendly and tolerant, an amazing son and apparently an amazing kisser to go with it. It’s not fair really. There’s no way I can keep up.” 

It was so far from the truth it was ridiculous. Less than a week before Liam had been thinking about how he wasn’t nearly good enough for Louis and now Louis was telling him the opposite, that Louis wasn’t enough for him. Liam chuckled, letting Louis pull him wherever he wanted and not letting himself think about how he’d probably always be that way. Louis was hard to say no to. “You’re joking. You’re the one that radiates sunlight.” The moment the words left his mouth Liam wished they hadn’t. Louis looked back from where he was tugging Liam, stopping so Liam stumbled into him. 

“I radiate sunshine?” Liam had had just enough of the teasing before it even started, but he knew it was coming. “Do I inspire terrible poetry, too?” 

“You have no idea.” Liam kissed him again, mostly just to shut him up before he started. Louis went along with the kiss, not stopping their movements until he was dropping down on the couch, pulling Liam with him until the wound up a mess of limbs across the piece of furniture. It took a moment to get sorted, which included Liam getting elbowed in the sternum, but eventually Louis found a spot curled under Liam’s arm, their legs tangled together where they were propped on the coffee table. 

“I was going to pick out a movie, then realized it was probably best to let you pick because outside of Disney musicals I have no idea what you like,” Louis said setting the television to Netflix then handing over the remote. 

“Are you going to laugh at me if I tell you that’s actually what kind of movie I like?” Liam asked, raising an an eyebrow at Louis who just laughed, turning his face into Liam’s chest. 

“You would.” 

“What? I love those movies. And not just because Harriet does. It’s just… They make me happy. Good always wins. The prince always gets the princess. And wishes come true. It’s a nice break from reality.” By the time he’d finished speaking Louis had pulled back from his chest, looking at him closely. “Sorry, that’s weird. Too much time hanging out with a five year old girl…” 

“What about the stories where the prince gets another prince?” Louis asked slowly, watching Liam’s eyes. “Still count for your happy ending?” 

Liam felt himself grinning, reaching out for Louis to pull him closer. “Do they still get to live happily ever after?” 

“I’d think so. Or at least hope so.” 

Liam nodded, head closer to Louis’ again, kissing him gently. “Then it definitely still counts.” 

“Good.” It was murmured against Liam’s lips before Louis dived in for another kiss. 

It didn’t take long for the movie to be completely forgotten and for both of them to get lost in kissing and staying close to one another, breathing in the same air. Liam couldn’t remember the last time he let himself get so caught up in someone else, but it was well after ten before he even realized they hadn’t managed much more than dinner and snogging on the couch. 

“You know, I looked it up,” Louis said at one point, resting his head against Liam’s shoulder, fingers playing with Liam’s before lacing them together. “About if it’s okay for us to date. After Saturday I was worried it might not be allowed.” Liam had to admit he’d had the same concern and sat up a tiny bit straighter. 

“So is it?” 

Louis nodded slowly. “Yeah. Nothing against it. Might be frowned upon with Hattie being in my class, but provided I’m not giving her special treatment or writing her recommendation letters to the best colleges next year I think we’re okay.” He smiled a little, looking up at Liam with hopeful eyes, cheeks still flushed from kissing and Liam had to kiss him again. 

“Good. I mean...well people might still not like it. They talk about you…” 

“Right. I’ve heard that. You’d think they’d be more subtle with the whispering. Plus you’d be surprised what their kids repeat.” 

Liam instantly hated that for Louis, wanting to protect him, pull him closer and keep him from all the bad words. He remembered the kids growing up that didn’t understand what he liked and took it out on him. “We don’t have to tell anyone.” 

Louis shook his head. “I don’t want to hide. I don’t hide. I never have. No matter what.” 

Liam ran his thumbs over Louis’ cheekbones, leaning in to kiss him again. “Just so long as you’re sure.” 

“Definitely sure.” Louis sounded so confident in his answer that Liam couldn’t even begin to doubt it. He kissed Louis again, something drawn out and lingering. When he pulled back he stayed close, but couldn’t help sighing. “It’s late, isn’t it? And you don’t want to be out too late?” 

Liam pulled back, surprised a little. “How’d you know?”

“You’re a dad, Liam. We went over this. I know that. And I know if she was my daughter and I was usually home and all she had, I’d want to be home too, no matter how much more fun she probably had with Harry.” Louis smiled softly, something just for Liam that made Liam’s heart melt a little. 

“I do.” He felt a touch silly, but he did want to see his daughter, make sure she was tucked in with her favorite stuffed animals and everything was ready for school the next day. Louis kissed him lightly then untangle himself from Liam, holding out a hand to pull him up off the couch. 

“Alright then. You should go now or I’ll try and keep you all night.” 

“That doesn’t sound terrible…” 

Louis laughed then pulled at Liam’s arm harder. “It doesn’t, but you’ll be a mess in half an hour, worried about just what you were thinking leaving Harry in charge of your daughter for the night, and it’ll take away all the fun of actually staying over. I’m making a decision that you have to leave before you start to fret and ruin everything.” He kissed Liam once Liam was on his feet and Liam let his hands slide into Louis’ hair again. Louis got it. Louis got him. 

“I do want to. At some point. You know that, right?” he murmured softly, pulling back enough to see Louis’ eyes. He wanted to make him understand that it wasn’t something about not wanting Louis. He did. Desperately. But he had Harriet and that was tugging him towards the door now that he was on his feet. 

“I know. I can tell, but I know you need to go. We’ll get our time soon enough.” Louis kissed Liam once more then pushed him towards the door. “It might be nice going slow for once even.” 

“Do you not usually?” Liam asked, taking the hint and making his way to the door. 

Louis shrugged, reaching for Liam’s jacket and scarf off the hook and Liam could tell he was avoiding looking at him. “I’m not the best with...relationships.” He looked sheepish when he handed Liam his jacket. 

“No?” Liam pulled his jacket on, but didn’t rush to take the scarf, not sure what Louis was admitting to and forcing himself not to panic. He watched Louis take a deep breath before looking up Liam, looping his scarf around his neck for him. 

“Absolute shit if we’re being honest,” Louis said softly, hands still on Liam’s scarf. “I like the worst kind of guys. Straight guys, jerks, people too much like me. And I try. I try so hard, but there’s always something that doesn’t quite work, or I don’t wind up liking them as much as I thought I would. And I know it. I know going in that it’s not going to work.” He sighed a little before smiling at Liam. “You’re like nothing I’ve ever wanted before and that’s great. And I can see it...it could work. So well, Li.” 

Liam thought back to watching Louis holding the baby, how it did crazy things to his heart under the jealousy he’d felt and he nodded. “I know. I know. I’m not much better. I can see it too, but I know I need to be hesitant and not get carried away. I mean...when she left, she was so mad. She was done with both of us and while I know why she left, I’m still not sure what it was we did. And it hurt so much. We can’t do that again.” 

He felt vulnerable, like he felt too much for Louis all at once, but Louis was still nodding, leaning in closer to kiss him again, hand still on Liam’s scarf, holding him there. “We’ll be better together,” he breathed against Louis’ mouth, getting another nod in return. He kissed the older man again, fingers hooked in his shirt, drawing the moment out, wanting it to last for as long as possible. When he finally pulled back he stayed close forehead pressed against Louis’. “I should go.” 

Louis nodded, leaning up to press a kiss against Liam’s cheek. “Go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Tomorrow would be at school, at drop off and pickup, but it was better than nothing. Liam leaned in again, stealing a quick kiss before he got his hand on the door. 

“Tomorrow. Can’t wait.” 

Liam made himself leave then, stepping out of Louis’ flat and heading into the hallway. He almost went back again, but managed to put one foot in front of the other and drag himself back to his own house. When he got there Harry was sprawled on the couch, out cold with the television on mute in the background. Liam dropped a blanket off the back of the couch over him then texted a photo to Louis to explain why his roommate wasn’t coming home just yet. Liam wandered into the kitchen smiling at the sight of new drawings on the fridge, both with Harriet and Harry’s names scribbled at the bottom. He debated having a beer, just to calm the vibration under his skin leftover from seeing Louis, but he wound up heading up to Harriet’s room instead. 

His daughter was where she belonged, safely tucked into her bed, and he couldn’t help but drift towards her, sitting on the edge of the bed and retrieving her stuffed bunny from the floor to put it back in her arms. She shifted a little, eyes fluttering open for a moment as she reached for him. “Daddy?” 

“Right here, princess. Sorry I was late.” He brushed a loose curl off her face and watched her nod. 

“Did you have fun?” Her voice was muffled by the bunny and sleep, but Liam had to laugh. He would have done the same thing. He probably would later in life when she was the one waking him up. 

“I did. Did you?” 

“Mmm,” Harriet agreed, patting his leg. “Glad you had fun. You should have fun.” The words were mumbled again, but Liam managed to follow along, and was left brushing at her hair again to press a kiss against her forehead. 

“Love you so much, pretty girl,” he told her, watching her eyes fall shut and her smile sleepily. 

“Love you too, Daddy.” Liam leaned in and kissed her forehead again as her breathing evened out again and wondered how his life had gotten so damn good.


	6. Chapter 6

Liam woke up the next morning still feeling good and hoping he wasn’t getting ahead of himself, but it was impossible not to. The morning went swimmingly. Harriet was in a great mood, telling him how she and Harry made mini pizzas for dinner and then acted out Frozen instead of watching it and even Harry had donned her Elsa cape while he sang _Let it Go_ in the living room. The sleepy-eyed babysitter was still loitering in the kitchen after having spent the night on the couch, huddled over a mug of tea while Harriet told her stories, grinning around it. He’d asked Liam about the night before when Harriet had run to get her bag, which left Liam blushing more than usual and Harry patting his back before showing Liam the series of text from Louis talking about how perfect Liam was. It was almost a little too much. 

Drop off was wonderful. Louis looked happier than usual, dressed snappily and with a grin that seemed to light up even more when Liam was there. He wandered close despite the other parents being there, hand grazing over Liam’s arm only briefly, but the moment was charged enough to make Liam flush. 

Niall had called after while Liam was on his way to work, too eager to wait for Zayn up to get details about the date. “So how’d it go, mate?” Liam could have laughed at how chipper the Irishman sounded in the morning, but he wasn’t the only one. Liam was still reeling from the interaction with Louis and just as bright-eyed. 

“Great, actually. We had dinner, talked-” 

“Had amazing sex on the couch, in the kitchen, then later in bed?” Niall offered, then spoke to someone that wasn’t Liam. “Don’t look at me like that. My best mate just scored this gorgeous bloke. I get to ask.” 

“Who are you talking to?” Liam asked instead of answering the question. 

“Some old lady at the coffee stand. She gave me that look that people give me when they’re sober and they think I’m being brash.” 

“You aren’t drunk now, are you? You’re supposed to be headed to work.” 

“Of course I’m not drunk. The look’s different from the one where they’re drunk and they think I’m being brash is all. You changed the subject. How’s the sex?” 

“Uhh.” 

“Oh Liam. Say it isn’t so. That guy’s stunning. There’s no way he’s bad in bed. Please tell me the packaging matches the goods.” 

Liam cleared his throat, fighting a blush and glad he was alone in the car. “It’s not that. He probably is. Great, I mean. I just don’t know.” 

“Why not?” 

“It was a first date, Nialler. I’m not rushing into that.” 

“Zayn and I did on our first date. That might have been all that happened on our first date.” 

“Stop. Stop there. I don’t want to know. I don’t need to know. Plus it’s different. You two had years to build up to that. Lou and I...just started.” 

“You’re forgetting the part where you’ve been gone over him since the first day of school then?” 

Liam blushed again, throwing his car into park outside his job. “No. I’m not. We’re just...taking it slow. It’s important.” 

“Ohhh,” Niall drew the sound out like everything had dawned on him suddenly. “That bad, huh?” 

Liam nodded despite the fact that Niall couldn’t see him and let out a sigh. Of course Niall would get it right from the jump, though Liam supposed he hadn’t been exactly shy about his feelings towards Louis with his friends. And Niall lived with Zayn who’d been clued into Liam’s feelings before even Liam had been able to put a name on them. “That bad. I just...don’t know what to say about it? So that it’s going slow is okay. If it goes faster…” 

“You’ll blurt it out when you don’t mean to. I get it. You think he feels the same way?” 

Liam considered that, thinking of Louis’ admission about being terrible at relationships, about seeing it working out with Liam when he hadn’t seen it working out with others. It gave Liam hope that maybe he did feel the same way. “He might. Seems like as good of reason as any to go slow.” 

There was a shuffling on the phone which Liam guessed was Niall nodding. “I follow you mate. Good though. For you. Hell, that’s better than just finally getting some after a five year dry spell.” 

“It hasn’t been five years.” 

“Close enough to it. You deserve this, you know that, right Li? Like, we don’t talk about this and you know me, I don’t do mushy-”

“Unless it’s Zayn.” 

“Zayn’s an exception to every rule I have,” Niall clarified. “But seriously. You’re the best guy we know. And that’s including ourselves and you know I think pretty highly of myself and my boyfriend. But you deserve this so much more than what you had with her. You deserve the very best and I really want Louis to be it because I’m tired of seeing you tell yourself you don’t.” 

Liam’s heart swelled again, wishing his friends were closer and he could drive to wherever Niall was and wrap the blonde up in a hug. “Thanks, Ni.” He could hear how hushed his voice sounded and how it changed. He rubbed at the corners of his eyes surprised that he was felt tears there even though Niall suddenly switched back to himself and was yelling about realizing he was late to work and had to ring off immediately to run the rest of the way. He knew full well there was as chance of the guys at his father’s shop giving him weird looks for seeming so weepy (he really wasn’t like this before he had a daughter), so he did his best to wipe away the worst of it, but it was hard not to let the warmth curl in his stomach. He had the best friends anyone could ask for, and adorable and excitable daughter, and a maybe-boyfriend who just might very well feel the same way as he did, which was an awful lot. Everything was just so good. 

He really got ahead of himself. 

It couldn’t be helped that he got through work thinking about Louis, mentally planning their next date. They needed to talk to Harriet, explain what was going on if Louis was going to be around more. It was early in the dating process to incorporate his daughter, he knew that, but she already knew Louis and honestly not telling her or at least not explaining that Daddy and Louis would be spending more time together seemed wrong. So maybe dinner at Liam’s. Or something along those lines. They could play family for a little while, test drive it really, to see how it suited the three of them. 

It couldn’t be helped that he was grinning before even pulling into the car park outside of the school. His daughter was waiting, his maybe-boyfriend was there. There wasn’t a reason not to smile. At least there wasn’t until he watched Louis’ grin just for him fade when he was less than four steps away. “Liam!” 

Liam was still staring at Louis quizzically when he heard his name, turning towards it and seeing Olivia headed his way. “Yes?” Had he forgotten something? He wasn’t wearing much of a jacket against the cold, but he’d been in the warm shop all day. That was normal. What did this woman want? Liam was pretty sure she’d been done with him after their date. 

“Hey there,” Olivia greeted like it was nothing, taking them a few steps forward and before she even started speaking he realized it was so Louis could hear them too. “I heard Marissa saw you this weekend. At the coffee shop?” 

Liam just barely managed a glance at Louis who was definitely listening, nodding towards Jackson in the line with the other children. Right, Marissa must have been Jackson’s mother. “Um yeah. She was there. Beautiful baby girl, right?” 

“Right, that’s her. She um...mentioned you weren’t alone.” Liam caught Louis frowning behind Olivia and Liam shrugged, wrapping his arms around himself with his nicest smile even if it was completely fake. 

“Nope. Sure wasn’t. Hattie and I met Lou- Mr. Tomlinson for coffee. Well, hot chocolate in her case but you get the idea.” 

Olivia nodded as if this was all the information she could have ever needed in the world. “So you either left out some important information when we went out or you were having some sort of parent teacher thing that doesn’t seem fair, hmm?” 

Liam had to wonder just who this woman thought she was. Hit bit his lip to keep from snapping at her, but wound up shaking his head slowly. “I don’t think it’s either of those things. Just a coffee shop date sort of thing. Like in the movies.” 

“And you don’t think that there was something I should have known about? Why would even try with me?” 

“Well, I wasn’t not interested if that’s what you’re so worried about.” Liam caught Louis’ eye again, watching the way his look narrowed on Olivia until he saw Liam looking at him. 

“Not really appropriate now, is it? Don’t want Harriet to get special treatment or anything.” 

“Well, considering it’s year 1 and she’s already ahead, I think she’s fine. Thanks for your concern though.” Liam wanted to demand which part wasn’t appropriate, that Louis was a guy or that he was Harriet’s teacher, but he knew better than to get into things in the car park of the school. Instead he smiled again, moving past her to Harriet and Louis. He managed to catch Louis’ arm, drawing his eyes back towards him instead of the ground that the teacher seemed to be inspecting. “Dinner tonight? Just come by when you’re done with school?” 

Louis’ smile came back, though it seemed a bit wary and didn’t go all the way to his eyes, but it was there. “Tonight’s great.” He paused for a moment, worrying his teeth as Liam gathered up Harriet’s bag that she’d handed him and Liam realized he was looking at the other parents behind Liam. “Wait, are you sure, Li? That’s…” 

“That’s not a problem. You don’t hide remember? Funny thing about me, I don’t either.” He smiled as best he could considering and squeezed his arm. “As soon as you’re done here come by the house.” He ran his thumb over the edge of Louis’ elbow, something he might not feel through his jacket. 

When Louis smiled again it went to his eyes. “Yeah, okay. Tonight. I’ll see you then.” 

“Good.” Liam squeezed Louis’ arm. “Everything’s going to be alright. Promise.” It all felt off, but it was fine. They were fine. Liam would force it to work if he had to. “We’re not doing anything wrong remember?” 

Louis nodded then waved him back towards his car. “Go. I’ll see you later.” Liam went with that, heading towards the car with Harriet in tow. He got her loaded and buckled in before getting in himself, but she didn’t even let them get out of the parking lot before she started up the inquisition. 

“Are you and Mr. Tommo like Uncle Zee and Nail?” 

“Niall sweetie. And I don’t know what you’re asking.” 

“How they get all funny faced around each other.” 

“Funny faced?” That was a new one. Liam glanced up to the rearview mirror and met his daughter’s eyes. She must have been staring at him. 

“Funny faced. Uncle Zee makes funny faces at Nail when he’s not looking.” Then Harriet did what he guessed was the face, but it mostly just looked like Zayn’s best forlorn look. 

“Hopefully it’s not that bad.” Liam tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, not sure how to explain what he was doing with Louis to a five year old. “I guess though, it’s sort of like how they are. Remember we talked about them being boyfriends?” 

Harriet nodded. “You said love was love and who you loved was all that mattered not what they were.” 

“Right. So more like Uncle Zayn and Niall like that.” 

“I already knew Mr. Tommo was your boyfriend, Daddy. I just haven’t seen you make the face at him yet. I’ll watch tonight.” 

“There’s nothing to watch for, sweetie,” Liam tried, but his daughter shook her head.

“I’m watching,” Harriet insisted and Liam wondered if he was that stubborn or if he could blame her mother for it. Probably not, he wasn’t much better himself. 

At home there was a rush between both of them, picking up what little mess there was around the house and Harriet rushing to get all the books she’d picked out at the library to show Louis when he arrived. Liam started on dinner, nothing fancier than spaghetti, but it was easy enough that he rarely screwed it up and by the time Louis was at the door, the sauce was cooking and Harriet had spread out with her crayons and coloring books on the floor in the living room. 

She still managed to get to the door before Liam could, holding it open for Louis and reaching out a hand for his coat even though it wouldn’t hang on the smaller hooks Liam had put up for her coats. Liam was going to join them, but part of the evening was to watch, to see how they worked, and maybe it was nice to watch Louis talk to Harriet, handing her his coat and scarf, letting her hang them up on the shorter hooks with her pink puffer jacket despite the fact that Louis’ jacket draped across the floor. He’d changed before coming, in just a jumper and a pair of jeans and looking far more comfortable than he had just an hour before. Harriet was tugging him past Liam in the kitchen, announcing Louis’ presence as they blew by and before too long Louis was pulled into an important conversation over a book about endangered animals. Liam laughed and went back to dinner, not even realizing Louis had managed to sneak away before there were arms wrapped around his waist and a nose pressed into the space between his shoulderblades. 

Liam gripped Louis’ arm where it wrapped around his waist. The sleeves of his shirt had been pulled up and the fine line of his tattoos peeked out from under the fabric. Liam ran his thumb over the knotted rope around Louis’ wrist then leaned back into him just slightly. Louis’ breathing was almost uneven, like he was struggling to hold something back and it was enough to get Liam to turn in his arms, hands finding his cheeks. “You okay?” 

When Louis sighed in response it came with a shudder through him and he leaned forward, fingers hooking in the hem of Liam’s shirt before he dropped his forehead down on Liam’s shoulder. “Sometimes I want this so much it hurts.” The admission was barely there, so quiet that Liam had to wonder if he imagined it. He pulled back, ready to defend his own feelings and reassure Louis’ that he wasn’t alone, but Louis started speaking again. “I hated today. What they said to you. How she treated you. That’s not right. You’re not doing anything wrong. If anyone is it’s me and I hate that. I don’t want that at all.” Liam pulled at Louis’ cheeks to get him to look at him, brown eyes searching blue. 

“You’re not doing anything wrong either.” 

Louis sighed again and nodded as best he could with the hold Liam had on him. “It’s just...it’s hard when they seem so against it.” 

Liam ran his thumb along Louis’ jaw then ducked to press a light kiss against his mouth. “I thought you weren’t afraid of anything.” 

“I’m not,” Louis said with a shake of his head, eyes meeting Liam’s again. “Not for me. I don’t care what they say about me. If I was going to care I would have started years ago. I’m afraid for you. For what they’ll say about you, how hard they’ll make your life, and for anything they might think about doing to that perfect little girl in the other room. That’s what scares me. That for a second something bad might happen.” Louis sighed again, shoulders slumping and Liam’s heart broke into a million pieces. Louis wasn’t hurting for himself or scared, he was this off, this twisted because he wanted to protect Liam and Harriet. “I want this so bad, more than anything, but I’m terrified that it’s just going to ruin everything for everyone involved.” 

Terrified Louis might say something else to break his heart more, Liam shut him up with a kiss, keeping it light, but letting it linger, drawing the moment out as if just the contact could calm the moment. “Stop, Lou, stop. We don’t care. I don’t care. Yeah, I don’t want anyone to hurt Hattie, but between the two of us we can protect her, right? And I can take care of myself. You don’t have to protect me too.” He kissed Louis’ forehead. “You have no idea how badly I want this too. How much I want you. I want you here, all the time. It’s ridiculously fast, I know, but I can’t...I can’t imagine a better life.” He pulled back so he could see Louis’ eyes. “We’re gonna be okay, I promise.” 

“You can’t promise that, Li,” Louis countered, but it lacked any real bite. It was more like he said it because it needed to be said and not that he really believed it. 

“I can. And I am. I want this just as bad as you do, Louis.” That got a smile from Louis and Liam couldn’t help but return it. 

“That’s it!” 

The two men jumped apart at Harriet’s voice pulling their hands back to themselves and Liam did his best to sound patient. “That’s what, honey?” 

“That’s the face.” Harriet had taken her seat at the table, watching Liam closely. “That’s the face Uncle Zee makes at Nail.” 

“Niall,” Liam corrected. “And it’s not that face. It’s not…” He looked over at Louis who shifted back closer again, resting his cheek against Liam’s shoulder. Maybe it was that face. 

“I know it’s Niall. I call him Nail. When’s dinner?” Harriet asked, sitting in her chair more, hands on the table like she was waiting for dinner to be served right that moment. 

Liam rolled his eyes. “Ten minutes. Living room. Go. I’m going to make you wear a bell so you can stop sneaking up on me.” 

Harriet stuck her tongue out at him and Louis laughed, which meant Liam was pushing at Louis to get him to stop. “Don’t encourage.” He reached for Louis again once Harriet was out of the room pulling him back into his arms, pressing a kiss against his mouth. “I want everything about this.” 

Louis looked up at Liam, something daring in his eyes. “Everything?” 

Liam nodded seriously, then kissed Louis again. “Yes. Everything.” He looked towards the living room and sighed. “Just maybe not tonight?” 

Louis laughed and wrapped his arms around Liam’s waist, nodding. “Not tonight. But soon.” 

“Definitely soon.” 

Louis helped him finish up with dinner and he grumbled, but he set the table, always sticking close to Liam. Given the first chance to get away, he went to claim Harriet. “Wash your hands before you come to the table,” Liam called out, just to see Louis’ face in the doorway to the kitchen.

“You’re joking, right?” 

“No. Hands. Wash ‘um.” Louis continued to look at Liam with what mostly amounted to a confused sneer before he rolled his eyes and drug Harriet towards the bathroom. When he came back Louis had Harriet hold her hands up to prove that she’d washed them before everyone sat at the table. Food was served with Louis’ help and once they were settled Liam felt Louis’s hand in his under the table. He was hit again with that perfect feeling, a sweet little family that could do this, they could have dinner, they could feel at ease together. Liam felt a sense of calm he’d never had with his ex, even before Harriet had been born. It hadn’t been for lack of trying, but while his ex had Louis’ spirit, she couldn’t fit herself into the calm moments like this one. He realized it now, they hadn’t been a good match, not for a long term relationship that came with a wedding and a kid.

After dinner Liam cleaned up and Louis took Harriet back into the living room to look at her books again because cleaning up wasn’t his thing at all. Liam was starting to get that, but at the same time, it didn’t bother him like he thought it might. He thought it might be annoying, but it was nice that Harriet had someone to talk to while he worked. When he was done he went looking for them, finding them curled on the couch, Harriet’s head on Louis’ arm while he read to her from the chapter book they’d been reading before bed and she’d apparently gone to get for Louis to read. He couldn’t help running his hand through Louis’ hair and the older man paused for a moment, leaning back to look up at Liam with that same soft and fond smile that was Liam’s favorite. “Space for me?” he asked and Harriet nodded, shifting closer to Louis so her father could sit on her other side. Louis moved the book to his other hand, reaching the other across the back of the couch so he could run his fingers through the hair at the back of Liam’s neck before he started reading again. 

It was too perfect and Liam almost doubted that it was real and he was back to imagining the scenes in the flicker of a match like he had a Christmas, but he forced himself to not overthink it and try to enjoy the moment as much as he could while he had it. It was something he was terrible at, better at planning ahead and preparing for what was to come, but as Louis’ fingers pressed against the tight muscles in his neck he felt himself relax more. Maybe he could do it with Louis. 

\-------

Despite all of Liam’s doubts, even after a couple of weeks, the moment reading on the couch became the start of a string of moments, drawn together perfectly and amounting into what was undoubtedly a relationship. They were still mostly behind closed doors, dinners at each other’s places, with Harriet if they were at Liam’s, alone if they went to Louis’, or lazy afternoons on the couch. When they met up in public it was usually hands off, just a secret smile at drop off and pick up, or a comfortable walk down aisles at the grocery store, looking more like two friends weighing in on what was good for dinner rather than a couple planning out meals. It didn’t mean that Liam hadn’t bought Louis’ favorite brand of tea to keep in the cupboard, or that Louis kept the biscuits that Liam loved but couldn’t keep in the house because he’d have to share with Harriet at his.

While it was also behind closed doors, physically they were more of a couple. Harriet didn’t seem to mind, almost reveling in the two of them as a couple. Liam was constantly vigilant to be sure if holding Louis’ hand in front her was bothering her, but it didn’t seem to affect her one way or another. When they were alone it just got better. The first time they had sex was at Louis’ while Harry babysat. It was a mess of hands and elbows, both of them too eager to do anything properly and at one point Louis almost rolled off Liam and off the bed, if not for Liam catching him at the last second. Normally Liam might have been embarrassed that it was such a mess and over too soon, but they both broken down into giggles over it and in the end he couldn’t be upset about it. It was fun, fun in a way he’d never experienced before. 

That it wasn’t perfect was probably what made it feel so perfect. So what if at one point Louis had actually smacked his hand over Liam’s mouth and bitten down on his own arm to keep them quiet so they didn’t wake Liam’s daughter? So what if they’d taken more tumbles off the couch than necessary or that one time he’d almost given Louis a black eye when he moved the wrong way? There were also the moments of almost being walked in on by anyone in their lives, Harry in particular, or the times where one of them, usually Louis, slept through the alarm set and they had to rush to sneak out and back to where they belonged before someone noticed they were missing. There were times when food didn’t turn out like expected, or the fire alarm was set off, or Harriet pitched a fit and every time Liam or Louis seemed worried the other would bow out of things. Every time, though, Louis was there to help with tears, or slide over a take out menu, or smile sheepishly as Liam reached to shut off the alarm. It seemed to only make them better and Liam wasn’t at all sure how that worked, but he was grateful for it. 

The really crazy part was how Liam was getting to know all the different sides of the man he could very easily call his boyfriend. There was teacher Louis, which he knew, and the softer sweeter side that seemed to only come out when they were alone. There was the charming side that always came out around Liam’s parents like he was trying to impress them and the bossy side that Liam both loved and hated depending on the situation. There was an oddly patient part of him that came out with Harriet, listening to her talk and letting her do things on her own so she’d learn. There was the playful side that Liam most often found in his bed, teasing to just the right level, keeping laughter between them even when he was giving in completely. There was the entertaining side that had kept everyone in high spirits throughout the weekend when Zayn and Niall came up to visit and catch Harriet’s last football match. 

Liam was seeing a completely different side now though, standing on the sidelines with Harriet on Niall’s back, with Zayn and Harry close by and Louis dashing around the pitch in his last game of the season as well. There was something incredible about the _power_ he yielded on the field, hair pushed back in a headband that was probably Harry’s, shorts on despite the chill, and body moving in a way that seemed to be nothing but utterly in his control. He was breathtaking and, like the others on the sidelines, Liam was cheering with every move, every pass, every attempted shot. Louis was _good_. Really good. Maybe not on a professional level, but Liam was almost certain he could have played for some sort of team if he’d wanted to. It was just as exciting for Liam to watch as it was for the rest of the crowd around the pitch because apparently the adult league drew a crowd in its final game when the top spot was on the line. 

When Louis got the ball late in the game and started to carry it down the field, Liam wasn’t the only one cheering on the teacher turned football star. He wasn’t the only one cheering when Louis made the goal he was aiming for and started running around with his teammates like they’d just won the World Cup and not a recreational league championship. When the last whistle was blown, though, Liam was the _only_ one with two armfuls of a sweaty Louis that had launched himself at him, and definitely the only one being kissed right in front of everyone by his boyfriend. “Loveyou,” Louis mumbled in a rush as the kiss ended, then he was pulling away, arms out to Niall and Harriet. “Where’s my perfect little girl?” he demanded until he had Harriet in his arms and was spinning in circles with her, leaving Liam wondering just what had happened and if he’d imagined what had been said or if it had just been some sort of crazed adrenaline rush. He didn’t get long to mull it over before getting dragged into a group hug with his friends, Louis and Harriet still shouting like victors. 

It wasn’t until the crowd had dispersed and Louis had gathered his things to go that Liam even got a moment with him. Niall and Zayn had Harriet between them, swinging her by her arms every few steps with Harry chatting along with them. Louis fell into step with Liam, bumping at his hip until he was pressed against it, arm around Liam’s waist. “So we’re...doing this?” They weren’t usually like that, holding on to one another, but it didn’t stop Liam’s arm from falling around Louis’ shoulders. 

“Yeah, yeah we are.” Louis sounded content, turning to smile up at Liam for a moment before focusing on where they were walking again. 

“Okay then.” Liam could do that, right? Of course he could. He wanted to. And it wasn’t like people hadn’t seen them kissing just a few minutes before. The cat was out of the proverbial bag or whatever the saying was. That just left one thing to be addressed. “Lou...about earlier…” 

“Hmm? The part where I scored the game winning goal or the part where I kissed you on the sidelines?” 

“Second part. After the second part really.” Liam felt Louis go still under his arm, still walking, but less comfortably snug against Liam. 

“Right. Well...There was...I was…” 

“Did you mean it?” 

Louis scoffed at Liam, making a face and crossing his arms even if he didn’t move out from under Liam’s hold. “Would I say that and not mean it?” 

“It just seemed spur of the moment, that’s all.” 

Louis glanced up at Liam from behind his lashes and shook his head. “I didn’t mean to say it, but I didn’t not mean it.” 

Liam struggled with that one for a moment, trying to make sure that he had all the negatives in the right places and he was understanding what Louis was saying. “So, you do?”

Louis sighed like Liam was trying, but Liam could see the hints of flush on his cheeks that wasn’t just from the brisk air. “Yes. Of course. You don’t have to too, you know. I know I’m exhausting. You’re just so damn perfect and it’s impossible not to.” 

“I’m not perfect.” That wasn’t exactly what Liam wanted to say, but it was what came out. 

“Of course you are. Don’t fight me on this, Payno. I’ll win.” Louis looked at him and Liam had seen that face before. It wasn’t one to be argued with. 

“Fine,” he conceded then stopped walking, bringing Louis up short. “Wait. You said I don’t have to because you’re exhausting? You think...You think I don’t? You don’t think I could?” 

Louis looked anywhere but at Liam and shrugged. “Maybe. No pressure, Li, seriously. Don’t feel that way okay. I just...I’ve been thinking it for a bit and it’s probably better it came out here than somewhere else.” 

Liam shook his head, stepping closer to Louis. “Of course I do. I have. For ages.” 

The look Louis gave him was pure trouble, something mischievous and teasing. “You have what?” 

Liam gave Louis an exaggerated eye roll. Of course he would make him say it out loud. “I’ve loved you. I do love. I’m in love with you.” He said it with a confidence that Louis obviously didn’t expect because his face screwed up in a surprised look for just a moment before he was grinning, leaning up to kiss Liam. He gave into the kiss, slipping his hands into Louis’ hair even if it was still a little damp from the game and kissing him back hard, right there, in the middle of the football fields, not giving a damn about anything else. 

“Hey! Lovebirds! Enough with the snogging!” Niall’s voice cut through Liam’s Louis-centric thoughts and had him jerking up to see the rest of his family standing a few feet away, staring at them. “Someone promised me pizza and I’m tired of waiting. Plus, you two are gross.” 

“Oh, don’t say that,” Harry drawled, swatting playfully at Niall’s shoulder. “They’re adorable. Even Little Harry and I think so. Right, Little Harry?” 

Harriet looked at her father and Louis, then Harry, then Niall, then made a face. “But piiiizzzaaa,” she whined and Liam shook his head, slipping his hand into Louis’ and joining up with the rest of them.

“You’re a terrible influence on everyone,” Liam told Niall, who just laughed only to have Harriet laugh with him, trying to make the same face that Niall made when he did it. They both flashed a matching pair of puppy dog eyes at him and Liam shook his head again, leaning down to scoop his daughter up and over one shoulder in a fireman’s carry, her legs kicking as she giggled to be let down. “Fine, fine, pizza it is.” Niall was cheering again, so was Harriet from somewhere over Liam’s shoulder. Louis slipped his fingers into Liam’s once again, something he didn’t even seem to realize he was doing while talking to Harry, and Zayn already had his arm around Niall’s waist. Far from a conventional lot that they were, Liam went back to thinking of the snowglobe perfect moment he’d dreamt of in the early hours of Christmas and realized he might have actually gotten it.


	7. EPILOGUE

(6 Months Later) 

The guests were already gathering around the small set up by the lake, a few chairs arranged in aisles and a little archway by the water for the actual ceremony by the time Liam got there, fixing his suit to make sure it was just right before he found his place by Zayn, squeezing his arm. “How’re you doing?” 

“Happy,” Zayn said with a small smile. “Just can’t believe this honestly.” 

Liam chuckled and rocked on his feet before sitting next to Zayn. “You and me both. Who would have thought Harry would be the one getting married before all of us.”

“You don’t count, you already got married once,” Zayn corrected. “But yes. Exactly that. And then he goes and makes Niall one of his groomsmen so I have no one to sit with.” 

“You have me. I’ll hold your hand if the ceremony makes you tear up,” Liam teased then shook his head, laughing as Zayn pushed at his shoulder. “And you don’t get to complain. He took my boyfriend and my daughter to round out his wedding party. I’m completely alone.” 

Zayn murmured something that was probably more of a laugh than an actually statement, but before Liam could ask what he’d said, the music started and Harry came out from around the side of the small gathering by the lake with Louis and Niall trailing behind him. Liam had seen the suit Louis had been given to wear since Harry couldn’t be bothered to wear a tux and even now his shirt was half unbuttoned ages ago but seeing him ready for the wedding itself was something else. Louis was done up perfectly, taking his best man duties the day of far more seriously than he had two nights before when he drunkenly stood on a table at the pub at Harry’s stag party. Now though, his tie pristine, his hair swept up and off his face in some complicated style that Liam guessed took more work than the bride’s, perfect smile in place. What really caught Liam’s attention though, minus how outright stunning he looked, was the gentle hand on Harry’s lower back, guiding and reassuring without being too forceful about it. It was Liam’s favorite thing about the man in his life. He was always there, always had the backs of those he cared about. 

Once the guys were settled, everyone turned to see Harriet, dressed in a lavender dress that matched the sprig of flowers on the groomsmen’s jackets, hair done up in more sprigs of flowers and white ribbons. Liam chanced a glance at Louis then motioned towards his own hair, only to have Louis smile and shrug, confirming that he’d done Harriet’s hair. It never failed to amaze Liam how much better Louis was at that sort of thing, but the older man always insisted it was a result of natural talent meeting years of practice with his own sisters. Harriet took her place next to Louis, resting against his side as he played with one of her loose curls to keep her calm, something he did with Liam as well when his hair was curling at the ends. The simple touch made him smile, bumping against Zayn’s arm as the bride made her way to Harry. 

The ceremony was short and to the point, which resembled Harry’s whirlwind of a romance with his now wife. He’d burst into Liam’s house one evening just four months before when he was invited over for dinner, grabbing Harriet to spin her in a circle then announce to the three of them that he was moving out and in love. No one expected it to last, but as Liam watched Harry kiss the bride, well, it made sense. There was nothing but love between them. 

Liam couldn’t be upset though. He and Louis had sat in Liam’s living room after dinner, Louis pouring over flat listings and chewing at his lower lip because there wasn’t anything available and he could afford that wasn’t more than spare a room in someone’s house. Liam hadn’t even thought about it when he blurted out that Louis could live with him and Harriet. Louis had seemed shocked, but after a moment nodded and agreed to it. Harriet had actually taken the news better than Louis had, though it had taken some reassuring that it was fine that Louis didn’t have his own room in the house. 

At the reception after the wedding, Liam barely saw Louis besides his speech, but between Harriet and all their friends, both of the men were busy. Eventually Liam found his boyfriend and daughter on the dancefloor, twirling and dancing, and left a sappy Zayn and Niall to join them. He wasn’t there a minute before Louis’ mother, who’d made the trip to see her ‘other son’ get married, swooped and scooped up Harriet. “How about you two let me have my grandbaby for a little bit and enjoy some time to yourselves?” Harriet didn’t protest, already taken with the woman who reminded Liam so much of her son that he wasn’t surprised. 

“Mum, she’s not…” 

Jay waved him away. “Hush. She’s as close as I’m getting and I know she will be one day. We’re just enjoying the time we have now, right button?” Harriet nodded and wrapped her arms around Louis’ mother more, leaving Louis rolling his eyes as they left. 

“It’s not...she’s…I never said anything to give her that idea,” Louis told Liam as the music changed to something slower and Liam pulled him closer to dance. 

“Doesn’t seem like you’d have to. Of course, I’m not upset if you did.” 

Louis wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck, settling against him. “Are you trying to tell me something Liam? Or ask me something even?” 

Liam laughed and shook his head, pressing his nose against Louis’ temple for a moment. “No. Not yet. But soon.” 

He heard Louis’ breath hitch ever so slightly, something that he might have missed if he wasn’t pressed so close to him, if Louis’ mouth wasn’t so close to his ear. “Definitely soon.” The whisper was so faint that at another time in their lives Liam might have doubted it was there at all. He knew better now though, pulling Louis closer still and kissing the spot where his jaw met his neck. 

It was the first of those perfect moments that Liam had had with Louis that he didn’t think of like a scene that might fade away or like something that needed to be encased in glass to keep it from disappearing. Louis was real, he was here, wrapped in Liam’s arms and as much in love with Liam as Liam was with him. Somewhere across the dancefloor his daughter was playing with her future grandmother. Somewhere his friends were together, happily in love and his newest friend was celebrating the best day of his life. Liam had no reason to imagine that any of it wasn’t real, that it wasn’t anything but his for the taking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew, we made it. Hope you enjoyed it! 
> 
> come visit me on tumblr and on twitter, winglesswarrior on both.


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